once again I've logged in to talk about how i'm not writing. it sucks to be so without words or even that much to express. My fickle fascination with change is drawing me again to that ever elusive 'elsewhere.' I have "how Odd?" written on the back of my left hand and I don't know why. That is odd.

My relationship with Holland is fantastic. I guess I've been reluctant to talk about her that much because there's not much to talk about yet. Sharing myself with her has felt like bragging at times or just self-promotion at best. It's hard to be complete without reflections, and my friends reflect on me very well. it's complimentary companionship that I'm talking about I guess. We become more important and more full as a social individual when we attach ourselves to sympathetic systems.
To be out here was a step towards isolation and peace. Those two are often found together working very well to retain their status. The isolation showed itself to me through the vast amounts of water surrounding this island and the mutual peace accompanying it felt like a fuzzy sweater in a warm clothes dryer.

Funny that I would find such a wonderful companion when I was trying to release myself from commitment. Am I afraid of boredom or the restrictions of 'settling down' what the fuck is that about. I don't want my relationship to preinclude the idea that we would become ineffectual and homely in our older age. I want to stir things up. I want to paint my future memory with all the laughter and colors and travel I can muster. I want to be extraordinary.

Some have said that I could have a future in writing. I don't know how or why someone would want to publish my thoughts and charge people for the pleasure but I will continue writing so I guess some people are right. Maybe a screenplay. Maybe a short story that gets turned into a screenplay. Maybe I'll jump on a fucking sailboat.

I don't know what the hell's going to happen. I rarely do, even though I often think about it. I don't know what I want. I guess I have what I want, because all I've ever really wanted was to feel better about myself and be happy. You can always have more of that in life.

People are thirsty for change. The wind carries a new tune for those with ears to listen.
I don't want to see the revolution through internet articles, I want to be there.