SUN GOD! This is all I ask of you... Please give me sun and waves at least one more day while I'm here!

Another gloomy day here in OB...

I went skating at the Ocean Beach Skatepark today and I ended up with a bruise on my chest and a scrape on my hip-bone. That felt great.

I miss Cera and she's taking her driving test tommorow. I know she'll do fine.

Cigarette Buzz!!!

Man today was a disapointment. The marine layer covered the sun all day so it wasn't really warm enough to go surf and my ankle wasn't well enough to go skate. Oh well, it was still another great day in O.B.

Every day people all over Ocean Beach stop what they are doing, walk down to the beach and marvel at the ocean and the sunset. It's like some sort of crazy cult of the sun or something because you can look up and down the cliffs and see people everywhere just sitting and watching it. It's beautiful. Not only is the sunset of the Ocean awesome but there's also the added bonus of watching the waves crash onto shore or the rocks or the pier.
I Miss You Cera!!! It's 8:25 in the morning so your time it's 10:25. I'm still up early. I Love You!!!

Man, I miss Cera.

I went down to the beach today and did some body surfing. Tommorow, I'll have access to a surfboard so that will kick some ass. I met one of the guys that lives below Al and he had these cool dreads and he seemed super laid-back.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles...

My train leaves early tommorow morning out of Rensselaer and gets into Chicago at like 10 something. My friends will be picking me up at the train station and I'll be staying the night with them.
Monday morning my flight leaves at 9 and gets into San Diego and 11. After that who knows.
I'll try to update and tell you guys what I'm doing.

I am fucked up...
Skittle Love...
head on the desk typing. what do you think about typing? I think it looks really wierd because I can do it because I don't understand. I don't get it. Cult, Cult, can you guys see me talking. I can't feel my face.
Periods and Sentences and shit.

I don't know which town I hate more Muncie or Rensselaer. At least in Muncie I could get hwasted whenever I want.

5 Days

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Well who the fuck do you think you're talkin' to huh?

Yeah, so Cera and I watched Taxi Driver last night. An excellent film that started out a little too slow.

6 Days.

I don't know how many of you have seen "American Movie" but not only is it a really funny movie but also really interesting that this one man is so damned determined to fulfill his dream. I think if everyone had as much gusto as Mark (see Mark's Journal) so much could be done with the world that is just given up on. On the site there's a page that says you can call Mike Schank. I thought that was a little strange so I thought I'd just write him a letter. So I did and I'll be sending it out tommorow. Hopefully he'll write me back and I can post what he writes.

Today I tried this stuff called Dadellion Wine at Cera's brother's house which is actually made out of dadellions. THe idea seemed strange to me until I tried it. It was pretty potent and the taste was something like a strong screwdriver due to the oranges put in the stuff while it ferments. I liked it but no-one else seemed to at all.

I'm sooooo fucking tired of this town.
That's it, I'm just sick of it. I'm ready to be on the beach and then when I get back I'm ready to be well on my way to moving to Louisville so that I can start getting some good footage.

I guess I forgot to hit publish after I finished my last post... Oh well it's there now.

Everyone keeps asking me what I'm going to DO when I get out to San Diego. Here's my official answer:
It's freakin California! I'm going to surf, skate, drink beer, and just chill out. That's what California is good for when you're from the midwest. I want to hang out with my brother and his friends and just have a good time. Is it such a need for people to have things to DO. I'm laid back and California is the place I feel most at home. Somewhere I can let my perverbial hair down. Yeah that big huge thing called the 'Ocean' is pretty humbling but Al and his friends are what really make Ocean Beach my second home.

I have yet to figure out where my first home is but it has something to do with my Dad and Cera. Or maybe somewhere with a Kegerator and a pool table. Maybe someone in OB will have the desired setup and I'm chain myself to something solid.

Hey I want to thank Irene for e-mailing me! First e-mail from a reader! WOO-HOO.

I guess I just think that my random thoughts drift into cyberspace and occasionally are read by my friends (or my friends parents who think they might be able to find out what my friends are doing; shame on you) And I figure that my mind-numbing rants are so boring that they'll scare everyone away.

I was reading this article about blogging and how it's the biggest invention since the printing press due to the vast exposure that it can grant a writer, photographer, journalist, thinker, etc. Well anyway I dig it. I agree with my Bro that regardless of having this immence medium which to express my thoughts and feelings, I would still be writing some way or another.

I'm really excited about seeing my brother and the other town-folk of O.B. I'm also really excited about meeting lisa. I'm nervous though since I really have no idea what she's like or what she'll think about me.

I hope that you are all having an enjoyable spring/summer, whatever this weather is.
Later

The Plan (# 463)

1. sean goes to SD to see his kick-ass brother
2. sean has a really good time skating, surfing, and drinking beer
3. sean comes back to the reality of his life which doesn't include surfing
4. sean and cera go and round up a bunch of friends to have fun with
5. sean and cera move to Madison so that they can find jobs in Louisville
6. sean and cera and probably others move to Louisville
7. sean takes a bunch of really awesome skate shots and gets hired with some cool skate mag (HA!!)
8. Everyone lives happily ever after.

I talked the the Critical Thrash shitmaster today and he told me that he would post my Louisville pictures that I've had for quite a while. Unfortuanatly this computer sucks and it thinks that all my pictures are music files! Hopefully I can get to a good PC today so that I can send him these pictures.
20 Days until San Diego!

What Ansel Adams was thinking while taking one of his famous pictures:

Man! Look at that big freakin' mountain. I should take a picture of it.

This is the Louisville Extreme Park in Louisville, KY. This is the best picture I've found of the park. Even this picture doesn't truly relay the incredible size of this great park.
This picture from Critical Thrash

POOP!!!

Don't ask what it means just get over it as soon as possible

Tonight while Cera and her sister Amanda were looking through their family photo books, I decided to reach out and find some Lory's. To my great surprise, I found 4 college profs, a swiss photographer (his work was pretty cool), and a web designer/media artist. Amazing. I e-mailed several of them and I hope they don't think I'm a complete freak. Hopefully I will get some interesting e-mails anyway.

29 Days until Sunny San Diego!

We went to see "Attack of the Clones" the other day and man did Yoda kick some ass! He was squirley and a madman with his lightsaber. Yeah, I'm a total loser.

Cera and I had our 6 month anniversary thursday. Congrats to us!

OK so for some reason Cera's mom (who is letting us use her truck tommorow) without us saying anything was like 'you're not not to Muncie tommorow.' I really hope that she didn't read my page and thinks that we're stupid. HaHa Ha... well drinking may be stupid but we're really responsible about it. When we drink we never drive and we never get into a car with someone who has been drinking. Cars freak me out enough let alone the added danger of a drunk driver. So I guess that's my thought of the evening.


It's ok to drink just don't be stupid about it.

Well Tonight while watching Conan O'Brian, I learned that Cera thinks the best movie in the world is SHe-Devil with Roseanne Barr. Unfortuanatly since Conan was fascinated by Roseanne's sex-drive, we didn't get to see Conan talk to Dave Attel. I think he's awesome. I want to get payed to walk around big cities and get drunk for a television show.


Speaking of getting drunk, I went to Muncie over the weekend. I drank a bottle of Robotussin and got my ass kicked by Cera, who also drank a bottle of Robotussin then a bottle of Boones which caused her to vomit all over 525's kitchen. I became enlighted about why Muncie existed and fun was had by all. (except Cera)


After I get a bunch of applications and turn them in tommorow, Cera and I will be heading to Bloomington on Wed. Should be fun.
Later

I'm going to Art School yet. The art of Bartending!
Hopefully when I get to Vancouver I will enroll into the Fine Arts Bartending School there. Goodbye America; Hello lower drinking age! Then while I'm bartending I'll save up the money to get into a Fine Arts school that will teach me about Graphic Arts instead of the Drunken Arts.

In other news:
I'm pretty close to having a job. The On-Cue in town needs a young punk-rocker such as myself, they just don't know it yet.

God I love Spring!

I will NOT be stuck in Indiana for the rest of my life. I refuse

So right now I'm in Renselear, IN on a quest for a job so that I can save up money. Grrr, money. And so that I can get out of Indiana.
Q. Why would you want to leave Indiana Sean?
A. Have you ever been to Indiana? I want to leave because I havn't yet.

Q. Where are you going?
A. Canada.

Q. Why Canada?
A. Why the fuck not Canada? Have you ever lived outside of the U.S.?

Q. No I guess I have yet to do that Sean.
A. Exactly, I'm doing it for the experience. I'm not running away from anything (Mom) and I'm not being ridiculous (Al)
I've actually wanted to live in Canada since I started high school, that's why I took french. It seems like everyone but my Dad who said "cool, I hope you like it." thinks that I have some strange reason for leaving the states. Well I guess there's nothing somewhere else that I'm not going to be able to find here but where's your adventurous spirit here people?

I want to do it because I CAN!

Now that I've said that, If you would like to say something positive about my life or my continuing search for adventure please feel free to e-mail me: SeanLory@collegeclub.com
If not feel free to: bugger off.

For Dad...

I miss watching lighting
with you
I miss eating an apple
with you
I miss tossing horse shoes
with you

Most of all I just miss being with you

A couple weeks ago I figured out how to play Smashing Pumpkins- Disarm and I realized how influenced I am by grunge-rock. I'm about to go and get the words so that I can start singing it. I have a hard time with singing and playing at the same time (unless it's something I wrote) and I really need to work on that.
Back to the guitar...

I went to Louisville, Ky this weekend and had horrorshow of a time. Lindsay, Rick, Cera, and I all went down friday and set up the tent first thing. Then we went and I skate the best park I've ever been to (and posibly ever will go to) and it was amazing. We watched the fireworks on saturday after more really awesome skating. Other than the stupid kids it's a perfect 10. The transitions are so smooth I can't even tell where the breaks in sections are.
We played guitar and drum into the night and it went really well. Everyone had a great time and I got to skate a lot. On our way back to Bloomington we stopped and I got to hang-out with my Dad. He's really cool. I'm so lucky to have such a caring and loving dad.

I'm really stoked about being in San Diego in two months. I just wonder how I'm going to get to Chicago so I can catch my flight. Hmm I guess I should work on that huh?

I hope everyone out there is having a great time!

OK...
THis better fucking work!

so the last few times I've tried to post it totally didn't work. Oh well
I've been having a lot of fun here in Bloomington and it's not at all as stagnant as Muncie. Although we did go to Muncie last weekend and got wasted. I was wasted last night and I wrote my brother an e-mail. I don't at all remember what I said. (Al, I'm sorry)

Other than that not much has been going on.
Work, playing guitar, skating, hanging out, loving Cera. THe usual.

Peace!

My dad came up this weekend and brought me my vintage sweet-ass guitar case. It's sooo choice.


We're selling AOL Broad-band service to these people in Florida. FUCK AOL! I hate it. I'm such a corporate slut and it's so dirty.
Note to Al: Telemarketing has turned me into a smoker.

WOO-HOO I'm going to California! And for only $201.
I'll be leaving on the 17th of Jun and I will return on the 24th.
YES!

Well for the past week every time that I've had the opporotunity to write, I've been unable to come up with anything. The trip to Chicago was OK. We did a few things but it was cold and not really so fun to walk around. We did go to some really cool shope around Clark & Belmont.
I finally got some film for my camera! Hopefully I can find a scanner somewhere that I can use so I can have digital copies too. I found a nice camera shop here in Bloomington that I will be going to regularly. Their prices on development are comparable to everywhere else so why wouldn't a support a local business.
Hopefully two months from now I'll be updating from San Diego. I'm getting tickets tonight unless I hear from Al that he's found a better price. I can't wait to get out there.

OK so Dave e-mailed me *thanks*. Yay for Dave!
I weird dream last night that got me worried but I talked to someone about it and it's cool. I'm leaving with psychotic Angela, Bitches and Hoes Ashley, and My Cera Sunshine tommorow for our mini road-trip to CHicago. I've started making a list of things we can do for the two days that we will be there other than looking at houses which is the primary mission for the trip.
Here's the list:


Illinois Institute of Art (the school I was supposed to go to)

Buckingham Fountain (It's on now)

Art Institute (Mmm Hmm Art!)

Navy Pier
Ice Skating (Never done it, maybe I should try it as a CHicago first)
A*maz-ing CHicago (a mirrored maze check out this: A*MAZING CHICAGO)

Burnham Skatepark ("I wanna sk8 all day and night without my board I don't feel right" Skrum

Alder Planetarium (I think they have sky shows every couple hours)

Sears Tower ("lean on the glass..." "I think I see my dad")

Shead Aquarium (Fish and More!)

THe Subway (sorry I come from a small town in no-wheresville the subway is really cool)

Clark & Belmont (Mmm Hmm sex shops!)

I Love You Everyone whom has my Love
I promise I'll be careful; take pictures; have fun; and sk8 it up!

DAVE!!!! E-MAIL ME!!

I have yet to hear from Bluetorch. That's unfortunate. I'm going to start finding other magazines that might have a use for me and hopefully that could get me a press pass.

The two men in my life that I care about greatly and I contact through e-mail have seemingly vanished. Or maybe they have lives.
Al seems to be going through some sort of transition thing right now that I don't understand and Micah my darling curly headed writing friend is in no-where Indiana sorting through some things of his own. I wish them the best and I hope they e-mail me soon.

Hopefully I'll be covering the B3's in Louisville, KY this year. I've gone the past several years and I've had a wonderful time. Maybe this year I'll take some pictures, write a lot, and if I can get in contact with the right people I could get a press pass so I can do interviews.
Bluetorch is a Sports Show/web site that covers snowboarding, skateboarding, surfing and other X-Games events. I would love the chance to get my photography published with my writing.

COps Brand Sausage!

I really hate cops. Once in my entire life have I thought "hey that cops doing a service, good for him." It was right after September 11 and I was living near an islamic mosque. One sunday morning I was walking somewhere and I happen to go past the mosque. There were a couple cops standing outside and I thought that it was really cool. Some frat-boy fuck could have got in his head that fucking with some muslims would be a "service to his country." Jesus Christ I hate frat boys too.
Anyway the recent hatefulness towards cops is due to a party I went to Thursday night. There were some spinners and a keg and yeah it was loud, but it was also in a neightborhood of no-one but college students so nobody cares right. So the cops so up as I was getting ready to leave anyway. Immediatly 30 kids totally scram out the back but I was in the entry room to the house anyway so I just thought I'd walk out the front door. I see a couple kids go out the front past the cops with-out any trouble but as soon as I want to leave...
Politley I ask the cop to excuse me so I can leave. She says, "where are you going." all kinds of shitty to me. So I say, "I'm leaving and you need to get out of my way because you can't keep me here." Of course her next question is "SO how much have you had to drink?" to which I respond "none" because I hadn't been drinking at all. " I need your I.D."
SO I gave her my ID and she said that if she tested me and I was lying about drinking she would arrest me. I told her again that I hadn't been drinking. SHe ran my ID and found nothing of course and then told me to leave.

I'm downloading mIRC right now so I can get a bunch of movies to watch.
The house was blessed with Nintendo, Super Nintedo, and a Sega and all at low low prices tonight. The whole setup and a few games for around $60! SCORE!
Cera's working with me at the telemarketing place now. She went in for an interview this afternoon and the manager told her to start tonight so she did. It's going to be awesome to not have to suffer through work without her.

I'm sitting here today definately dreading going to work. It snowed like an inch last night and it's still snowing. Man it sucks to have to ride a bike to work. I ran into a friend from High school at work last night and it was a total trip. After work she came over and hung out with the kids and I think she had a good time.
I'm glad I'm working again. It kindof feels good to know that I'm being productive and that things are going somewhere for me. I've decided to take my tax refund and go to California to see my bro Al. I'm sure that it will be a great time. How could I go to San Diego and not have a kick-ass time?

Man, I havn't updated lately. This weekend Cera and I borrowed Ashley's car and went to Madison. It was fun. I miss my dad a lot. It was great to get to see him. Crazy stuff with Josh that made me shitty wierd for like two days, that's why I have not updated.
Lindsay is here!
Later...

TOnight I watched "Vanilla Sky" and I didn't hate it like I thought I would, actually it was pretty interesting. It felt much like a kubric film but not quite as cool. Good Musical selections such as the Spiritualized track which I like a lot and a couple really good Radiodhead songs. The plot felt shakier than it should have. There should have been more hintings at what exactly was going on. It was just a little hard to follow. Fast paced and didn't feel as long as it really was. Over all an excellent flick.

The only thing that remains of last night are lingerings of the hazy twisted experience that it was. I always try to get people to describe to me what their experiences are like and sometimes I get really good descriptions but I have yet to find anyone who could even begin to describe the effects of shrooms. Maybe it's because it's different for everyone or becuase it's just so fucked up that it's very hard to communicate what's going on as you can see from my post last night. So I have two experiences from last night that I'm going to try to explain.
While I was at the show I sat in back and watched the band and the people walking around and talking. Looking at the whole scene felt relatively normal exept when I would look at say two people in a conversation it looked like a second of time would stop rewind and then play again. I could see normal things happening like someone walking across the room and people talking to me which made me really nervous because I was worried that I looked just as fucked up as everything appeared to me. The music sounded so fucked up and disorted it's ridiculous. If you play electric guitar you'll understand this next comment; I told Cera last night that it felt like the world was on delay.
Heavy tracers that at times were so long and fat that i could barely see what was going on in real time. Josh told me not to look at mirrors and now I know why. At some point I went to the bathroom to blow my nose and I just happened to look up at a mirror. It wasn't scary like I expected it to be it was just really twisted and distorted.
That's what happened to me last night.

can't describe what's going on right now shrooms I ate earlier wonder what's going on.
We saw the 100's earlier. They were really good. Sometimes thingsa feel backwards. Music feels good. everything in rythymmm MMM goood. Yeah Yeah

I'm off for an exciting fun filled evening B-town style. I think we're going to a house party for awhile then maybe a bar off Kirkwood called Uncle Festors. Should be super-fun whatever we do.

J-Rock rules by the way

I GOT THE JOB! Finally I'm going to be part of the workforce again. I'm going to work my tail off making better money than I could anywhere else with my experience. This job is going to be a resume builder. I'm starting my life now. Things are getting better. I need to start looking at schools soon.
Happy V-Day everyone!

I'm going to an interview in an hour. I'm seeing about a telemarketing job. It pays better than any other place I'm qualified to work for so why not.
I'm in a constant state of sleepiness. It sucks.

I was told sternly that I should update my page. Dave this one is dedicated to you.
Micah wrote me a lengthy e-mail telling me to shape up and take action. I'm working on it. I have an interview for a telemarketing job on wed. Hopefully I can get this job and write Micah and tell him that 'Yes' I'm going to commit to Chicago and go up there to be productive for a year. I Love him and he's been really fucking cool to me. He's always honest and he's really interesting. I want him to be with us in Chicago and I want to follow through with this one.
Micah, come to Chi-town with us.

I'm in Layfeyette, IN right now. We're hanging out with Cera's family. They're really funny. Aparently tonight we're going to see a jam band called "Lefty." It'll be fun if we can get into the bar. Eli's a little monster. Lata'

It is just a ridiculously beautiful day today. I'm going to go outside, take my shoes off, and read a bit. I just started "Atlas Shrugged." Maybe I'll write some too. I got an e-mail from Micah today saying that he thinks moving to Chicago is a great idea. Yay! Maybe he'll come with us.

Canadite for band name:
Blunts For Breakfast!

My soul is a cup that has been overflowed with failure. Every thing that I've fucked up or failed at has added to my soul cup. Today my cup spilled and I was thrown into a deep watery darkness. It seemed to envelope me in a deep-sea pressure sort of way. I am a rock that has found it's way quickly to the murky muddy deapths.
I am in Bloomington hoping to get a job at a pizza place. The sad part is that I really want a pizza job. I'll be excited to get a pizza job. I will love getting a job. I want to thank my brother Al for writing and for being supportive of me. Thanks!

Everything in the world has a rythym and time. I feel out of tempo with the rest of the world. In "Requiem For a Dream" (which I watched last night for the second time) every scene is wrapped around some sort of melody or rythym. It's amazing how music can fit with a scene. Is it fast or slow or deppresing? What is the musical feel of your life? Nine Inch Nails has a dark and fast sound and it seems to fit my life the best right now. We've decided to find a house in Chicago. I'd like to live in the neighborhood near Wrigley Field. Maybe Chicago in spring is a great idea. Maybe someone in Chicago will want me.

For your Consideration
Most people at some point in their lives consider what their ‘place in the world’ is. I wonder if I have a ‘place.’ Am I just destined to travel and work and lead a miserable unfulfilling life? I’ve been suggested prayer, drugs, sex, masturbation, meditation, elevation, destination, and everything in between. The world is a huge place for me right now and I’m so very lost. God. Is God the electricity that runs through every human mind or a mythical Lightning Thrower in the sky? Man has been beyond the sky and through what lies beyond that. In these times of greed and anger where do I find the security and humility to continue? Is the purpose of life merely to survive it and last one more day? Is there a ‘plan?’ I wish it would be bestowed upon me. It would save me a lot of pain to know what I’m supposed to do. I feel like I have a gift of creativity. Too bad that four million other people also have a gift of creativity, and that their gifts were bigger and better than mine.
A train rolls past every few hours, too fast to grab a hold of. It teases me with the idea of travel. It thunders past with the same force that makes these letters possible. I wake up to a new day not knowing what it will bring. Will I be in this town by the end of this day? Will I be arrested for drugs? Will I find a job? Work; such an unsightful word. It means toil and sweat and dirt. Why can’t I make money doing what I like to do? What do I like to do? I like spending time with Cera. I like music, meeting new people, talking, creating, thinking, problem solving, writing, designing, drawing, photography, art, playing music, skateboarding, snowboarding and other sports. I have so many ideas but why would anyone want to listen to them. I am a slowly rotting corpse. I am discarded before I even start. I am alone with my thoughts.
It is said that I must prove myself before people will recognize me. I have a lot to learn yet I can’t get an education. And what kind of education would it be anyway. Government run schools telling me what I should think and read and how to create. I can not use other people’s ideas. I wrap hair ties around my fingers to remind me of my fingers. Why am I so strange? Will someone appreciate my strangeness and see something in me that I fail to see myself. Will I meet someone who needs a person like me? No one wants a pot-smoking, drinking, young, idealistic fool. The need for me is limited if at all. I’m tired.
I’m tired of having no idea what I should make of myself. I have absolutely no desire to mold myself into what someone else considers a good employee. Who I am is the best thing going for me. The fact that I am like no other person on earth in thought or in design must make me desirable to someone right?

I'm going to bloomington today to see about a job. I think Papa John's. Ashley and Meagan both work there and they don't hate it sooo. I guess I'll give it a shot. I packed my stuff and I am very ready to go. I'm ready to be in Bloomington. I've wanted to live there for a long time. Hopefully I can contact Josh and see if he needs another housemate. Eee I'm excited.

Is it time yet?

Dirk Diggler: Aren't you gonna take your skates off?
Rollergirl: I never take my skates off.

They should have burned the fucking place to the ground.
How do you feel about the World Trade Organization? Sign my guestbook with your response.

I had a great time this weekend. Last night we went to "Uncle Festors" in Bloomington and watched this great blues band- Mike Milligan and Steam Shovel They played Stevie Ray, Muddy Waters, and some originals. Mike was throwing down some mean licks on his dirty sounding Fender while Derek rolled out nice beats with style. Shaun plucked some funky bass when it needed it and layed solid rhythms others. As a group the band got the whole crowd moving and thrilled blues-lovers like myself.

Leaving Cera's presence is such a downer. I missed my Dad's visit this morning. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. And according to Amanda "Sean, you hate everything."
I'm in a kill! Kill! KILL! kind of mood.

I was thinking about sk8ting today since I pretty much can't skate in Franklin anymore and I thought about Louisville. Louisville has had a 30 million dollar skatpark in the planning for a while. Now they've broken ground and put up conceptual design on the site. RULE!
It makes me want to cream my jeans.Oh wait I don't wear jeans.

Drunken silliness and Naked sleeping. I've found myself in B-town once again. It's amazing how I just happen to find myself places. It's hard to tell where I might end up next. It's such freedom. I Love it. I'm having all sorts of fun with Cera.
Richard Simmons is Scary.

I have to be the only person in the world updating their blog right now. 9PM on a friday night. I'm waiting for Cera to surprise me. There was word of a party tonight in Indy and she said that they would pick me up on the way. Another fun filled evening with Cera is in store I'm sure. I have more fun with her than I do with everyone else I know combined.
"Doesn't it make you feel better"
NIN

I have an interview at a well known Taco place tonight. I'm not putting on pants until then damnit. No pants!! DO you hear me? No Pants! It's an underwear party in my head! Woo-Hoo. I have to pep myself up for tonights interview. If anyone has ever seen Cera's fake smile, that's how I feel right now.
I'm listening to the Cure's Disintegration albumn and I've decided that it's going to somehow disapear from Amanda's collection. Mwaa Haa Haa.
I'm so weird.

I'm so glad that I'm quasi-evil. Seth Green's hot.
I'm talking to Kasey Bradley right now on ICQ. He's such a bitch. He was always really shitty to me in H.S. and even when I got out. I tried to help him and his band out several times but he always ignored me. He seems to be treating me decently tonight.
I'm sure there will be more of me for you later.

These are some Blogs that I was perusing this evening:
a winter's rose

Aneurysmic


THis one isn't a blog but interesting none the less. Sit down throw in some Radiohead and check out this site. The girl in the middle isn't even close to as hot as my girlfriend (are you my girlfriend yet? say yes!)
Half-project

Cera, I Love and Miss you very much
I'm 70% evil!

I went job searching today. I picked up like 5 applications. I've already turned in several. I stopped by the VP in town and talked to the manager, she said that she was getting ready to set up interviews and she'd call me. Of all the VP's I've ever been in that one is by far the shadiest. Is that a word? Probably not. Shady like Shady. Speaking of shady I was listening to an edited version of the Marshal Mathers LP this morning. What's the point. I stopped listening to it about 3 songs in because I was tired of listening to all the silent parts.
I've been looking at apartments in Chicago. I'd like to find a cheap house to live in since hopefully it's going to be at least 4 of us moving up there together. I found a two bedroom apartment that I think we could all fit into. I have to find something cheap because if I don't there's no way any of us will be able to do it. So if it's small I think I can deal with it. I'll be in chicago for crying out loud.
I looked at this place last night.
Here's where it is
I'm listening to Dido's No Angel. It's not really that great. Oh well.

So...
Cera and I are not going anywhere at the moment. Too bad. Cancun sounds really nice. I just wish I could spend more time with Cera. I'm just as likely to find a job in Bloomington as I am here. I know I sound like i'm just stupid in love but really. I have sooo much fun with Cera and it doesn't even matter what we're doing. Hell i had fun with her at a Monster Truck Rally! That's impressive.
Keep looking for a job and keep my goal to move with her to Chicago in the summer.

Well apparently Cera Angela and Ashley and I are taking of for a beach to live for awhile. Sounds great to me. I say Mexico. Cancun to be more accurate. She said she'd call me back soon. I think it's a fabulous idea. I wish I had money to help fund the venture.
Later from somewhere else maybe.

Today Amanda and I went to Mad-town. We saw Micah and hung out with him for awhile. We were playing frisbee in the park but it was almost too windy. I hung out at my house for quite awhile and my dad didn't show up. Oh well. Not much going on.
I miss Cera more and more everytime she leaves.

Oh you want good music huh?

The red-headed stranger is the last of a dying breed of folk-singers. His musical inspirations have touched the hearts and minds of many a hick and joe q public alike. Painting a picture with a soothing voice and early country style guitar playing. A confessed pot smoker and loving friend to many he lives in the hearts of all truck drivers.

I'm really stoned right now.

here are the lyrics to one of the first songs of the newly formed band: Fat Man Falling? (band name may be subject to change prices and partiticipation may vary)
I want a band We'll play some noise
when i'm all strung out I wanna be with my boys
I wanna scream I wanna dance
you'll be so fucked up you'll be in a trance
We'll be so bad we'll suck really hard
There's no security we can't afford guards
Outside the door kids will say wow
that music in there sounds like a cow
better dance now better dance now
if not on your feet i'll make you bow
if I'm acting strange up in your face
i'm probably just hwasted like a big disgrace

White Trash Night!
OK so the big date surprise was getting dressed up like total rednecks and going to the Monster Truck Rally. Yes I did say the Monster Truck Rally. Overall I think the intended goal for the evening was accomplished: Piss of some hicks, look at some incredibly disgusting mullets, and yell incredibly loud for the worst truck out there. Several weeks ago Cera and Angela were in Rensellear bored and they saw a John Deere sign that screamed "steal me!" So for white trash night they painted "Wolverine" on the back of it to take and hold up. It was funny. We got some really weird looks. The way I looked, if I saw myself out on the street, I'd kick my own ass. We had a lot of fun just running around acting like total assholes.
The after-rally plans didn't go so well. We were supposed to go to Matt's to get hwasted but Ryan got a migraine and bailed on us. So Angela, Cera, and I are driving to find Matt's place when we enter this apartment complex were every freakin' building looked exactly alike. Needless to say we didn't find it the first time or the second time. Angela was getting pissed because she wasn't going to get to see this girl named Ashley. It turns out that Ashley got a flat tire on the way to Indy.
I had a great time with Cera and really I had a lot of fun. If it wasn't for Angela's bitching it would have been a lot more fun. Let it roll.

I've got a date tonight!
I'm so excited. I still have no idea what's going on. Cera said she'd be here around 4. It's already almost noon.
I know I'll have fun.

I recorded some interesting stuff tonight. maybe I can talk to Al and figure out how I can post it for people to listen to.
Date with Cera tommorow night!!

This is a Q&A from Poppy Z Brite's website. She updates it herself which I think is fantastic.

"Q--I read on-line that a studio is going to do another Crow movie called Lazarus. It's supposed to star DMX and be about a gangster rapper. Did they just want to use the name or is this going to be a bastardized version of your work.

A--I doubt that it has anything to do with my book -- the parallels between the Crow mythos and the Biblical character Lazarus are obvious, so it's a natural title to choose. I like DMX and am seriously hoping this movie won't suck. But I don't keep up with movies, so for all I know, it has already come and gone."

She likes DMX??? how is this possible?
I wish Cera were here to read me to sleep.

THE SIMPSONS ARE ON!!!!!
WOO HOO!

"If we were so influenced by video games why didn't Pac-man make us all run around in the dark eating strange pills listening to techno music?"
All your base are belong to us.

Ever since the first time I saw "Clerks" I've wanted to work at a movie rental place. Today I took a personality test for the Movie Gallery which I'll be called about tommorow. I wish Micah were here to be the Dante to my Randal.
I wish it was Saturday. Cera said that we're all having dinner at Ryan's, doing whatever it is that we're doing, then going to Matt and Megans apartment. I still have no idea what we're doing. Cera asked me my pant size. I don't know why. Why would she need my pants size for an evening in Indy?
I look like eraserhead.

Well in typical "life of Sean" fashion, when it's bad, it gets worse. I talked to my dad for quite a while today and he said that he won't be able to sign a loan for me. After I got of the phone with him I cried for about 15 minutes, cut off my hair, cried some more, then I called the Institute to tell them, more crying and then a ridiculous amount of cleaning.
It's been such a wonderful day!

I'm having a bed-in today.
Not for peace and not against big buisness but because I Love Cera. That's right Love. I'm having a bed-in for Love. And if Cera were with me she'd be right next to me.
It's quite a dreary day here in the gut of Indiana. Depressing weather should always be accompanied by loud depressing music, low lighting, little food, and most importantly somewhere comfortable to just sink into all day. I hope my dad calls tonight with good news. I need him to tell me that I can go to school because he figured everything out.

Man, I want a cigarette.
I was quite productive today. Not really. I did get several applications and filled most of them out. Hopefully by the end of the week, I'll have a job. I took a nice nap. Listened to some music. Did some drawing. Ate some food. Yeah.... real exciting.
About as exciting as this;
Gumby!

Revolutionary Art Rock
Listening to "the lou reeds collective" I'm thinking about Deric and what silly rabbit he is.
I miss you Cera.

The harsh bitter truth of reality hit me with quite a blow today as I watched her driving away. We had such a fantastic weekend of just hanging out with one another (no obstractions) watching movies and making out. It was wonderful. I think she had a good time. I hope so anyway. She was taken away this evening in a such a hurry there was little time for releasing one another once again. It's usually a long process. I miss her just as much as I would any other time but the let down of her going was not a harsh as the long drawn-out times.
We had a great time watching "The Stand" which is 6 hours long. It was an all day process, but an interesting movie. I thought Satan's role could have been more developed. They concentrated on "good guy's" a lot more than the "bad guy's" I guess they do that in most moving though don't they? Oh well it was a great day with Cera, exept for the beating I recieved for about 30 minutes. She's so funny and fun. It's interesting, Instead of fighting about something we internalize whatever it was and hurt ourselves. I think I have things to work out. We've never had a fight. We're both so easy going about things that we don't have any objections to what the other person does as long as they're having fun. I Love her.

Word of the Day: Counter-top

THis is the end...
I wrote a pretty good song the other night. Maybe I'll post the lyrics soon. I slept with Cera today until 4PM it was great. We got home around 5 this morning. I had to drive through the snow because I was the only straight one of the five of us. We were waiting for alchohol last night but it never showed up and we were all tired so we just left. Ashley (the girls house that we were at last night) is really cool. I think Angela should make out with her and come to the realization that she's a lesbian.

Daddy would you like some sausage?
Daddy would you like some sausage?
;-& Smokin'

Here I am in Bloomington having a lovely evening with Ms. Cera. It's fun to be here.
Angela smoked some crack I think.
Later

Well back to the phone book for me. She said that the designer that she had previously spoken with showed up and worked with her last night. I suck anyway. I understand her position, I would much rather have someone who know his stuff than some student who can figure stuff out. Knowing things helps I guess. Taco Bell is calling my name.

They say it's my birthday! Well happy birthday to me then.
I went to meet Leah about the Design job but she wasn't there, her daughter was sick so I told her husband that I would come back around 12. I'm really nervous.

OK I was just surfing through Blogs for like 2 and a half hours. Hello everyone. I decided to e-mail everyone blog that I thought was cool or funny or geeky. (Go for the PS2!)
Everyone wish me luck I'm going tommorow to see about a graphic design job!

I forgot to tell a crazy story. The other day on our way back from Muncie I almost won a Jeep. I swear. OK As we were driving along I saw this guy cruise by us on the right which is where I was sitting. He had a headset on which isn't strange since so many people have cell phones with headsets. But as he passed us I looked at the back of his car and his licence plate which read "hershe 1" He had a few small hersey stickers on the back of his car and they were the only markings. Yes, I saw one of the guys trying to give away a Jeep. Unfortuanalty for me I didn't had any herseys products so as we were following him I ran into a gas station to grab something. We lost him. Terrible.

Waking up for 15 minutes in the morning to have a cup of coffee, check my mail, and then go back to sleep is great. Before Amanda goes to work in the morning she's sits down for coffee and of late I've been joining her. The best part is going back to sleep though.
I hope you all have a great day
while I'm asleep!

I'm officially living in Franklin now.
I talked to Cera last night for quite a while on the phone. I was fucked up and I'm sure that was interesting for her. Not really. Probably sucked. I was still weird for most of the day today. I met Sarah's parents today and that was strange. They seemed like mice people and that they were looking out for her. Pretty mellow day otherwise.
Tommorow is job day. The goal: Collect a fuck-load of applications and turn them all in. Seems simple enough doesn't it. The hard part is getting one of them to call me. I figure I'll go around downtown to find some and then go with Sarah to the commercial part of town.
I talked to Cera today too and she told me that I'm going with her and some of the other Bloomington cats to Indy next Saturday for something fun. She's really excited and it's a surprise so I have no idea what's going on. Yay! I Love surprises.
I have my guitar here so I'm going to explore the web and find some TAB.

Grr.... back in Muncie. I kindof hate it. I'n on Robo though so it's a bit different isn't it. Yes, everything is a bit different. I wonder if anyone is reading this maybe those people should sign my GUESTBOOK!
Yeah sign that shit yo'!

I just read an interesting article at Nerve. Nerve is a site dedicated to artfully portraying sex. Everything artisitc relating to sex. It's really interesting and some of the stuff is really cool. I enjoy the openness of it all. Sex has always been a "quiet" part of my life. Oh.. you can't talk about that. Fuck it. The article was called The Art of Noise and as you can guess it's about noisy sex. It does more than just talk about noisy sex; it explores it and questions why people do it. I've been thinking about writing something to send. Maybe I will.

Woo-Hoo! I really like my guestbook. It's much cooler than Lindsay's. I was productive this morning. I mailed some important stuff, worked on my guestbook, skated around the courthouse, asked about employment at a few places, and I took a shower. And it's before noon!
I did do something stupid today though. I saw a cop parked perpendicular to a street in between several cars. I thought to myself no-one is going to be able to see him if they're driving passed, I should say something. I skated up behind his car and said "Nice speed trap you got set up here."
To which he replied, "Actually I'm waiting to escort this funeral procession."
"Oh..."
As I turned around I could see people coming slowly out of the funeral parlor. It feels really bad to be a jerk to a cop when he hasn't done anything wrong. If he ever sees me skating somewhere that's posted I'm sure he'll be all over me.
Making enemies out of cops already and I've only been here for 2 days.

I had a great weekend with Cera. If she ever decides to send me another picture of herself I'll put it up. I'm going to try to find a guestbook to put up so all 4 of you that read my page can make witty comments about my life. I tried to find a Franklin Newspaper website with no luck. Apparently the Franklin paper doesn't feel that online advertising will make them any money. Maybe I could talk them into paying me a bunch of money to be their webmaster. Right.... you guys know I have so much skill with HTML HA!
Song of the Moment:
Piggy- Nine Inch Nails

That's so hilarious. I have absolutely no recollection of the last post. I was really hwasted last night. I had a good time though. Well before I passed out anyway. Sarah called in sick today and aparently slept all day at her friends house. I guess we're going to franklin tonight and I want Cera to go with us.
Song of the moment:
Sex is Violent- Jane's Addiction

I'm hwasted. Now wasted is wasted but hwasted in really fucked up like I am right now. I got to Franklin safley and hung out with some of Amanda's friends until Sarah came home. She told me she was going to Bloomington and that I should come. SO I was like hell yeah, and know I'm sitting in Cera's apartment having a good time. Today is Corina's birthday so they're having a slumber party. FUN.

Damn... I was supposed to get a ride to Indy this afternoon by a friend of mine but it fell through. He had to work on some things and I understand. So, I called up Tyler whom I havn't talked to in like a year and asked him if he would give me a ride. he said yes but that it would be around 4: 30. Hopefully Amanda will still be at work when I get there. She said she was leaving early to go home and get ready for her date.
I HAVE to get to Franklin tonight. Cera's coming tommorow which reminds me that I need to send her directions. Wish me luck everyone.

I'm moving out of this town. It's depressing. All I do is drink and do drugs. It's not good, not productive, not healthy. I'm moving to Franklin, IN where I have a friend who invited me to move in for free. I'll be 30 minutes from Indy and like 30 minute from Bloomington. Hopefully I can go there tommorow and have a job by the end of the weekend. I really need to save money for school. I really need to do a lot of things and I'm not going to get them done here.
So this will probably be my last post from Muncie. So long shitty town.

Welcome to the New Year.
Right now I'm in Rensselaer, IN with Cera. I'm having a great time with her family and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get to Muncie. Don't really want to go to Muncie, but you know. I ate a ridiculous amount of food today, it was great. I was thinking about Ocean Beach today. I really like the environment out there.
I talked to my advisor at the Illinois Institute of Art today. Hopefully if all the loan stuff turns out I'll be attending in April. The IIoA is in Chicago. Downtown Chicago. I love Chicago. I went once and fell in Love.