sing a song of hysteria
sing a song for me

play it like you mean it
play it loud and scream

strum my weak heart with your fingers
strum my chest with fingernails

beat me until i'm senseless
beat me until it's done

let it all out
let it bleed

Plastic Beauty----

I find myself in a bathroom. 8x12 ft. water runs down the tile shower walls, still wet from the last cleansing. Floor in disarray, shambles, used linens and forgotten hope lying all over the fucking place. A whisper of death smeared across the floor. Mirror askew as if hanging itself with doom. SOmething that once resembled hair sits in the basin waiting to be flushed away along with traces of cigarette, tears, and lonesome dying. Fingerprints remain pressed against the window searching for some escape. I piss, relieving myself of some burden. I feel the disease that was afflicting this place. I look into the screwed mirror and slide into the lakes of my pupils staring back at me.

water flows and time it rolls
flow upstream against the current
florecent views and underwater clues
you choose your own path

crumbled surface
stars and moon
radio frequency bouncing and turning
freaked out energy beams that
you can't see or touch

circle circles turn around
see the sound with stereoscopes
as big as your house

quiet and stealthy as a mouse
it lurks and feedsin the night-time air
and stares out there

wicked ways and sunspot days
it trickles it's way down
down down it flows

the electrons hit us in furious droves
fitfull bellies and all their cellies
picking up cosmic voices
and it all falls down this way

Energy is everything
this way and that way

strange weekend.
going to sell my fender today.
took a math test and did well.
i ate once today.

I had one wierd ass dream last night. It started with me at work trying to get some weed. Everyone that I've met through that place was in the dream. I was following this shadowy blond girl. I walked around and met more people that i've talked to since I've been here, like Daniel. (Daniel is a homeless man with a severe drinking problem, I used to see him out and I always try to talk to him and make him smile) Then I got to this house where Deric S. and all the Muncie kids were. For some reason my amp was there and it took my attention away from the shadowy blond girl. I aparently ate some sort of psychadelic at this house because all the colors in my dream started phasing through easchother. THe people at this house were just sitting around so I took my amp and left wondering where that elusive blond girl went. As I was walking up the street a massive party exploded out of the front door of this house so I sat down my amp plugged it in and started rocking out. People sat around and talked and drank while I played. Playing guitar in my dream was very vivid. I see the blond girl walk in the house and I follow. Watever I took at the last house is really doing a number on me by now and I can barely walk. I see a girl I went to high school with (who i would actually still enjoy talking to) and i try to talk to her, but she hands me a drink and pushes me farther into the party. I turn around to look at her but she's not there and when I turn around again everyone is made out of coumns of water. That was too much so I went outside. I found the blond girl, and she says "have you been following me?" "yes" I reply wanting to touch her. "Well you found me, now what?"
I wake up.

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prick your finger it is done
the moon has now eclipsed the sun
the angel has spread it's wings
the time has come for bitter things

---Antichrist Superstar



speaking of which:

Hi George Bush,

Someone has sent you an e-card from www.checkyourself.com

Eat It! Bush
--Your friends at checkyourself.com

actual question from 'check yourself':
"Does your marijuana use let you live in a privately defined world?"


I brought my amp home and it's been great having it around all the time. Tonight I hooked Aaron's keyboard into my amp and I make some great noises and beats. It was fun as hell. I can't wait until Graham comes back to the natti so we can start recording.

I'm supposed to be working on math right now but I'm drinking wine instead. My friend Jessica is moving out of her apartment soon so I'll be losing a neighbor. It's always fun to hang out with her and watch a movie, smoke a bowl, take pictures. She said she's not going to move very far away so we'll get to hang out.

What are we doing here? Consume, produce, destroy, create.

I ended up talking with a film-maker tonight that's about to premier his first film. I saw some of it tonight and it was really good. I asked him if he had a web-site and he said no... so I asked him if he wanted one and we are going to meet soon and talk about ideas.

Focus Focus Focus

Sorting through the wastage that was Thanksgiving.

An atheist, a bhuddist and a muslim walk into a bar.
the muslim doesn't drink and orders a virgin daquiri
the bhuddist has a beer and the
atheist is on the floor.



In other News:
Victory City!!

Damn it I want to go to this show!

LOCAL H
New Year's Eve
Dec. 31
Double Door, Chicago
w/ Electric Six
includes hosted bar!!!
Doors 9:00
www.doubledoor.com

It's $55 bones. Possibly too rich for my blood.

After class today I spoke with a monk. He has been studying for 10 years and is from Cambodia. We spoke of Energy, Meditation, Compassion, Modivation. Many things. It was great. Shortly after I sat down to talk a Muslim woman sat down and we all talked together. She said that we were like different grasses that live in the same yard. The grasses are different, yet none of them harm the other.
I told him of my confusion with religion and that I didn't trust it. I told him that the only thing I can believe in is me. I think he agreed.

like lauren bacall
she lights up them all
the punks with thier metal
the goths all in black

Her fiery headed goodness
the icing on it all
the streets full of traffic
the air full of life

Wake up my pretty
and see through it all
soon the lights dim
and soon we part ways
waiting
for a moment
to set my eyes
on you

SO thanksgiving is over. I had my fill of turkey, family, and friends. Is was a good trip hanging out with Al playing music and driving around.
I've developed quite a bit of anxiety about Madison. Not Madison, just me in madison I guess. Cera called me and wanted me to hang out with her. No way. I saw this girl at the thanksgiving game that knows the 3rd street crew and she was like, "Everyone down there wants to see you." so I said, "They can all just kiss off into the air"

There are not enough people in the world that know the awesome power of THe Violent Femmes.

DJing tommorow

Wow... what an eventfull evening. I went to work this morning at 1pm and stayed there until about 4 when I got pissed off at my boss and left. I wasn't supposed to be there until 6 so I said fuck it and went to UC. I layed down for awhile and took a mini-nap. I woke up and saw some guys kickeing a soccer ball around so I joined them. After that I went back to work and it was OK.
I got off around 8 and walked up Mcmillan. I called a couple people until I got ahold of Madie. SHe said she was having a party and I should show up. I was a block from her house so I went. We hung out, we got my guitar, we got more beer for the party, we partied. No-one at the party had any ganja, so I strolled onward to ludlow. I got to my apt as Micah was leaving. On my way back up CLifton i walked passed the esquire, which plays lots of indie flicks, and rocky horror was about to start. I yelled at the group of people, "Why all the black guys, lets put some color in our lifes!" I started to run away when someone yelled at me. "Come back" they said so i mossied my way back towards the theatre. a tall redhead came up to me and said what's up. I told her that I was headed to a party and that she should come with me. She said rocky horror and I said let's smoke. We went into an alley behind someone's apartment and we smoked a bowl. She was amazing. Lauren. Incredible chick man...
I got her number and left. Jesus it took forever to get up clifton. I got back to the party in time to drink a beer and see our host pass out for the evening. With much partying left in me and headed north once again back to ludlow. On my way I took a side-path to Celina's. We watched tv, smoked and I left. On the move again. As i was walking past the esquire again I saw two people that appeared to be hiding against a wall. I snuck over to them and said, "what are we hididng from?" they anwered, "a friend... would you like to be our friend." she was punk as fuck... Jenny.
I met jenny about 2 months ago. I was in a van with Vinnie (currently in forced rehab by his parents) and Alex (is an ugly, cracked out, homeless, toothless, masogenist, mother-fucking bastard piece of anal lube)
damn-it I'll finish later.

Alex sucks and he was talking all this shit about Jenny that really pissed me off. Anyway I talked to Jenny for little bit and she left. I saw some cops so I walked around the block and when I got back Lauren was standing outside the esquire. I talked to her for awhile and she had to take her friends home so we parted ways.
When I got home Mike gave me a call so I went and hung out with him and passed out.


I had a dream that I witnessed Earth's Exodus. It was cool.

The Hottest thing I've seen online since Suicide Girls.

Mmm women are yummy.
oh yeah by the way...







FUCK YOU!

I had a really kick-ass time tonight. No hoes that want to use me, no wondering aimlessly, no bullshit. It was great. And to top the night off I had a waffle. I've been wanting a waffle for so long it's ricockulous.

i can do cool shit with a butterfly knife.

what do you think about that biaatch!!

This time next week I'll be in Madison, but i'll be getting wasted so it's OK.

Burninating the planet
and all it's people
Why don't you hide
under your steeple

interesting:

B-town??

What a wierd freakin' night. I started at a hard-core show and ended up being brought home by a gay man. Don't ask. Unless you really want to.

I'm drunk as fuck and I'm tried.
goodnight!!
sean

I might be hanging out with this girl Casey tonight. I met her one day while i was skating around UC. She was reading and I sat down next to her and we talked for awhile. We parted ways and I figured that i wouldn't see her again. Then a couple weeks later I was out skating again and saw her. We talked and I got her number. I called her last night and she said she might come hang out with me tonight when she gets out of work. She's really nice and I hope she does come over.

School has been great. I'm really excited about learning again. My classes are a lot more interesting than they were in Muncie.
Did anyone read that kittie poem, because I like it a lot.

Uh....
PENGUIN!!!

Waiting to find out about my financial aid. Supposedly there is a letter somewhere on it's way to me. I wonder.

"this is a day in the life of a geezer"

I'm reading "CLose encounters of the third kind." It's really good so far. Micah hates Spielberg but I don't know why. We went over to mike's last night and played some Euchre. I watched Raising Arizona last night in my drunkeness and passed out. Mike woke me up so I mumbled something and went downstairs and passed out. good times

THought crime??

Burninating Madison
and my hoebag ex-girlfriend
Burn baby Burn!!!

Lot's of things pissed me off today. Unfortuanatly, I enjoy my freedom too much to start an exploding rampage. Damn laws.
Is setting a worthless pile of shit on fire a use of positive or negative energy. speak amongst yourselves.
OK

Conan will make it better.

I finished reading "Venus in Furs" tonight and I thought it was a great book.

While surfing the web looking for venus related items i found: VIntage Erotica.


This image is from In the Rain
thank you!

also see:
RetroRaunch, see the tour

Veterans day= No classes

so I walked down to school and no one was there. I walked around and found nothing except a sign saying that it was veterans day. Thank goodness for signs.

WIth the lights out it's less dangerous
here we are now entertain us



I'm so excited about meeting more girls who are going to ignore me. Yay!!

My earlobes are bleeding
from the lack of decor

The cave is so lonely when no one's around. It sucks. I called everyone today and no one answered.

To the alley bar and through parked cars
kittie i think i found you there
you scratched my back and i'll scratch yours
i've touched your fur and i want more

break-beat club, smoky sentiments
gin and tonics for ladies and gents
dance groove shakes bass quakes
grab a glass and do what it takes

SO i found this cat and i wanna take her home
curl up next to the fire
you scratched my back and i'll scratch yours
i've touched your fur and i want more

sit down to my bloody valentine
now where did i leave my line
relax gatto we've got more drugs
then she swats at invisible bugs

I bombed all of CLifton ave. tonight. It was awesome.

I'm pretty tired. I need to find a way to get money so I can buy books. that's a bitch.

the sky is very blue today. It's that way because it's made of water. amazing.

I passed out on the couch last night and as Micah was going to school i woke up and he said "you can sleep in your bed you know." I don't think he understands what a lonely place my bed has become. Other than a couple months here and there, I've shared my bed for the past 3 years. Sleeping is 50,000 times better when there's someone lying next to you.
Yes i am lonely.

"whats this about jumping over a balcony at the mere beck-and-call of Mindy? Huh huh?"

So, mindy is this girl that goes to school with Micah. SHe's really hot and at the Halloween party she said something hilarious. "Are you gonna come over here or am i going to have to come over there." Believe me, at the time it totally cracked me up and killed me all at the same time. So I jumped off a 10 ft. balcony. Oh... I forgot to mention that Mindy was dressed as a playboy bunny. Mmmm...

SO, now I'mm pretty drunk and having a very difficult time typing.

I can't wait for Thanksgiving. Al is coming back to the midwest for one last horrah. We have lots of plans and I'm sure it's going to be an excellent time.

Wasted Energy

I forgot that you were not next to me
but maybe it wasn't meant to be
you were off and doing your own thing
and you havn't stopped to hear me sing

Chorus
I take another drink
and I start to sink
drunken wondering guy
do you think he'll stop by
do you think he'll stop by

I stop by your house
ring the bell and hope you're there
picture postcard memories
i wish i had some of those

i wanna share all my songs with you
sing you everything i know
i wear my thoughts like a saftey pin
oh man i think i'm drunk again

Last night was great. It was nice and warm. Micah got incredibly wasted so I drove us home. Then I found myself in Florence, KY in some fucking mansion. It was kindof wierd actually but hey what's halloween for right?

I invited Virginia to the cave today. I don't know if she'll come or not. I wrote her a song.

Happy Halloween.

I'm going to get really wasted tonight. Big surprise huh.

I ate a dose the other night and tripped for 8 hours straight. I got lost in a pool. gratuitous spaciousness.
We went out to this point that overlooks downtown and it was really cool. Looking down at the city and thinking about all the different things that were going on right in front of me. Crazy.

I hope everyone has a fantastic night. I know i will.

SO I've been doing research online for Milo Lory. I don't think that link on the left works but if it does someone tell me what it says. Anyway, I got sidetracked and decided to do a google search for my Dad. And I found this:

My dad's Senior picture

Virginia, hello out there. I hope you are well. I hope you can understand this.

Hydrogen ------- Oxygen

Water??

Air??

what kind of energy is floating around?

should i turn into a pine tree... mmm i'd smell good all the time.

The smallest form of existence is the atom. dense mass core, satellites, and space. Everything and nothingness all explained to us by the smallest form of energy. Energy is everything that there is. The law of conservation of energy states that energy may neither be created nor destroyed. This means that there is only so much energy floating around out there, and obviously there is only so much energy that we will have in our lifetimes. Eventually all the energy that makes up what I am will be gone. Gone in the form of something else.
There are forms of energy transfer that are not often thought of. Let's do an experiment.
Energy is Truth.
Now let's talk about all the ways energy was just transfered. The first was my thinking (electronic impulses in my brain) the statement "Energy is Truth." Then I used energy in my muscles to move my fingers to type. As my fingers touched the keys it sent a signal into my computer making the statement appear to me on my monitor as pixels. When I posted this on my site, a server somewhere recieved my digital data and recorded it to a hard-drive. When you typed in the address of my site your brain was sending out the signal to your fingers that you wanted to see what I had to say today. Reading the data on that same hard-drive your computer translated it so you could read these words. When you read the statement your eyes were looking at the words which your brain translated in a way that only you can understand.
Energy is amazing. It is everything that is not space. I am effecting your energy right now. Is it coincedence that the smallest thing we know of looks just like the biggest thing we know of. I don't think so. We must take full advantage of our life energy and try to use our energy for good. Creation is the highest form of energy. Art, Birth, Music, Blogging; all these things are created by people who are using their energy in ways that affect not only their local environment but possibly the whole world.
There is energy and nothingness. Everything that is energy is truth.
Look how much our solar system looks like the atom. Flatten it out and look at it from the side. Here you go:

This is a near-infrared picture of the Milky Way.

Saturday morning Micah and I headed out to Red River Gorge.

it was a great drive down and we found the trail-head with a tiny bit of difficulty. Once we found the trail we loaded up our beer, food, and blankets for the night. We found Micah's friends easily and hung out for awhile. We drank beers and roasted marshmallows. The woods around the camp were lit up from our fire and it was so wonderfully quiet. Dave who had planned the trip was drinking some booze out of a canteen and I asked what it was. 99 blueberries was the response. Highly recomended.
After we relaxed, ate, and the sun went down Beth and Zack talked about an overlook that they had found before. We all got ready and headed out. Walking around in the woods with a flashlight, laughing, talking was great. Once we got to the point it was beautiful. We looked out over this valley that was dark and above us the milky way shimmered. We sat and stared at the sky with our mouths open at how huge it was. We all made up constellations that don't exist anywhere other than our minds like 'the dolphin' and 'the sperm'. We talked about super-powers and needles and the cars that drove past on the road below us. Micah and I got pretty stoned and chilled while everyone talked and looked up. We saw some shooting stars and then a couple showed up and totaly harshed my mellow. We didn't want them to be there and they didn't want us there so I tried to get everyone rounded up to head back to camp. It took awhile since we were all intoxicated. We got back to camp and after some sassafras tea that I dug up everyone pretty much went to sleep. I stayed next to the fire and woke up every once in awhile to put wood on the fire. I fell asleep with a log to my back and a smile on my face.
When I woke up Micah was messing with the fire and the sun had just come up. Zack had gotten up and was making coffee. I sat and felt the heat off the fire. It was so peacefull to wake up and have absolutly no obligations for the day.
Zack and Micah decided that they were going out to the lookout to watch the sun rise over the valley. I went back to sleep and woke up to some people coming into camp. It was Mike and his girl whosenameican'tremember. We'll call her kristen just for editing purposes. So we talked to them and found out that they had slept in their car at the trailhead. Micah was off to Nashville so we told him good-bye and he was gone.
I asked everyone if they were cool with me staying even though none of us really knew eachother. Everyone was pretty positive about me staying and it made me happy. I threw together some food and talked to Dave. We were both cooking different things and bonce around different ideas for what to do with our fantastic day. I asked if he had a topo map and he did. I looked at the map and choose a route for us to hike for the day. I told everyone about it and we all got ready. We set out and headed down a steep hill. After awhile we got below the cliff-line and we found a couple different caves. One was 'confessional cave' and the other one was 'Dave's Bed Cave' Shortly after we found those we got down to the main creek. We walked and crossed the creek uncoutable times. We found a train wheel. We found someone else's campsite and two rocks tied to a string. I didn't see it but Dave saw a dead racoon.
We got to the road and the river but didn't see any sign of the footbridge that was marked on the map. Looking at it I knew exactly where we were. We had the option to take the road (the longest path back to camp) or take on the hillside. Dave and I consulted the map and picked out a ravine that seemed hikable. As we went up I found a large hole that an animal was probably living in but I counldn't decide what animal. We got about 3/4 of the way up and got faced with 100 foot cliffs all around us. We cut across to the other side through all these holly trees. Once we all got across we came to a really sketchy section of hillside that was questionable as to it's saftey. I told everyone to wait until I got to the top to tell them if it was cool or not. It was certainly difficult but I was confident that everyone could make it and we all did. The view was great and we pushed on. We hiked past 3 different ridges and went through lots of sticker bushes. At the end of one of the ridges was a cliff, we saw some smoke coming from the bottom of the cliff and didn't think much about it. When we got back to camp we all relaxed and ate some food. I looked at the map later and checked the scale and found out that we had hiked 4 miles.
Dave and I decided that we really needed to get beer to celebrate our triumphant return to camp. (Greatly simplified version) We drove, we drove, we got wierd looks, we drove, we got told no a lot, we drove and then I got the idea that we might be able to find some moonshine. I stopped at a local store in the gorge and asked some old timers who had no idea what I was talking about. SOme redneck girl said something to me that i couldn't hear so i walked over to her.
"You got a joint?"
"Maybe... do you know where I could get some moon-shine?"
"yeah but it's like 10-15 miles away"
"Ok let's go you can ride with us"
"I don't know, you going to smoke with us?"
"Take me to get the moonshine and come back to camp with us."
"I can't go"
"What do you mean... you want to get high, i want some moonshine, what's the problem?"
"I can't go anywhere"

It hit me at that moment that she just wanted to trick me out of a joint by saying she knew where to get me moonshine when she really had no idea. I GOT HOSED!!
Beerless, Moonshineless, and very dissapointed we returned to camp. Everyone was chilling so I joined them and we prepared for our night retreat to the lookout. We had some friends with us. Doober, 99 Blueberries, and So Co. We smoked and all sat back marveling at the stars when we heard someone coming down the trail.
"We're with the Sheriffs Department. We had a report of a bright glow coming off the end of one of these ridges."
We told him about the smoke we had seen and showed him where we saw it from. Their were some guys out in trucks that were looking for the fire that had radios. They talked back and forth in that mysterious code until as one of the trucks guys was looking for our flashlights to see our location he said this.
"I think i see you... no that's an airplane." Oh my we all busted out laughing and it was great. They eventually left and thanked us for our help. We all decided that it was probably just some people camped at the base of the cliff.

When we got back to camp Dave and Zack and I talked about energy for a long time and passed out.

We woke up and decided to head back to the natti so we did. I rode with Dave on the way back and mostly we listened to music.
I had such a fantastic time this weekend and I want to thank everyone who had any part of it. Yeah that probably means you.

later

(You are stellar)
Meet me in outer space
we could spend the night
watch the earth come up
I've grown tired of that place
won't you come with me
we could start again

How do you do it
make me feel like I do
how do you do it
it's better than I ever knew, ooh

Meet me in outer space
I will hold you close
if your afraid of heights
I need you to see this place
it might be the only way
that I can show you how
it feels to be inside of you

How do you do it
make me feel like I do
how do you do it
it's better than I ever knew, ooh
how do you do it
make me feel like I do

Do, oh oh oh oh oh
you are stellar
you are stellar

How do you do it
make me feel like I do
how do you do it
it's better than I ever knew, ooh
how do you do it
make me feel like I do
how do you do it
make me feel like I do, yeah

Incubus

stuff:

Woman

Fear

Beauty



Soul

Burroughs

went to the party and it was lame. went to mike's and played guitar and it was cool. I'm pretty tired actually. I talked to Virginia and she's busy all week-end. lame.

I'm trying to decide if I want to smoke my last cigarette. I hate how it's 3 o'clock in the morning and i want to talk to someone. anyone. blood pumping. eyes blinking.

Me and dj mray hanging out. I guess we're going to some party later but whatever.

Later

I have a secret.

I dig librarians. If i knew some hottie librarian, i'd be her slave. She could make me alphabetize those magazines that everyone looks and i'd love it.
anyway I found this today and thought it was interesting.
Weblogs as Libraries

When I was 16 years old I thought Weezer was the coolest band in the whole world. Crazy things have happened in my life over the past 5 years.
Say it ain't so
I still love Weezer


check this out too:
Rivers is looking older too

Anyone want to go to Big Bear with me this winter?

Mother mother fuck. I just wrote a great entry and it surfed on out into the void.

Summary:
Talked to Virginia and she said that she "has a lot going on" and she "doesn't want to hurt me"
1. a lot going on translates to she's seeing someone else
2. my balls would have to be cut off before I would say some girl hurt me.

I've been through too much to give a fuck. Anyone who listens to Nirvana (and if you don't you should leave my page now) should bust out Bleach and listen to how bad-ass the solo is in Love Buzz. It's delicious.

"Keeps his cigarettes close to his heart"
swap meet-- Nirvana

I had a wierd week-end. No I'm not going to talk about it. I'm just glad to be back in the nati. I drank with Virginia tonight and watched Cannibal the Musical. I'm really stoked about meeting her. Thank you madeline. We've had some really cool conversations. I showed her some of my pictures and other random stuff from my past. It was awesome, she actually seemed interested. You know how sometimes you'll show someone some of your pictures and they just kindof flip through them, well she actually looked at them and asked questions. It made me so happy.
time waits for no man.


"only in dreams
we'll see what it means" -Weezer

Cheap booze yes... Company no...
Billie Holiday feels my pain. So i've laid myself on the floor listening to her and wanting to love so badly.

I've been playing my guitar like a madman and I need new strings already. i guess I'll just have to take it easy. No fucking way... Nothing will stop the noise!!! I just got off work and took a shower. Ah Clean.
My plans for the evening, cheap booze and good company. Hopefully. Otherwise I'll just have to drink myself stupid.
Monday is 'get things done' day. There are a couple of things I've been slacking on so I need to wrap those up.
Nap maybe?

I spent my last 13 dollars on a case of Corona last night. I thought Shanna was going to come drink with me but she never showed up so around 2am I really started getting hammered. Not much was going on at Mike's so I started to mope home in the rain until I decided I was too drunk and too wet to keep going. I called Micah and he picked me up.

feelin' pretty lazy today actually. I have to work at 7 and then I think I'm going to go to Mike's and play my guitar. Oh yeah I finally got my amp back. Woo-Hoo!! Bored Bored Bored....

We drank, we smoked, we rocked out until 5 in the morning, we spray-painted a bunch of shit in Mike's house, we all passed out. A good time was had by all.
I ended up getting 4 cases of PBR.
I put new strings on my guitar so I was sounding pretty good and the guys I played with were great too.

I wanna go skate so bad...
This is fucking sweeeeet!
Photo by: Critical Thrash

Monday night is going to be rock n roll mayhem.
My amp is done and I can pick it up. rule!
Oktoberfest is going on, free beer for me.
Listening to the breeders and loving the fuck out of it.

I feel much better now that the crazieness on my page is gone. I ran into this really awesome girl tonight while at the club. I was talking to her about my writing and she started telling me about her literary magazine The Blue Writer. What's interesting is that among my journeys around Clifton I've seen flyers for submissions to the collaboration. So I'm pretty stoked about sharing my writing who could possibly want to share it with the local world.
Here's on of the things I sent

Drooling drunk guy
Spontaneous drunk staggering
Religious raunchy ralphing
People pleasure pleasings
Mind-trip Mangalings
Drip-drop dangalings
True thoughts wandering
Sick sluts swaggering
slip-slop slabberings


"Who wishes to be creative must first blast and destroy accepted values." ---Nietzsche

Good Night....

I'm so fucking pissed off right now. I was skating around enjoying a mild day and found this sidwalk that had a really mellow hill about 200 yards long. I bombed it and was just about to go down it again, when a rent-a-pig came walking my way. I thought to just skate off the other way but I was just to lazy. He came up and gave me the "you can't skate here" bullshit and took my SS#.
If I had a dollar for everytime I heard that I'd be a rick mother-fucker.

In other news, I'm well on my way to getting a school. There are about 3 pretty cool schools here that I'm interested in. I've been accepted to Antonelli and I'm fairly certain that I want to go. I feel like the experience I will gain their will outway the fact that I will only have an associates degree when I get done.
Pros------
1. Only takes 2 years and I'm done.
2. Tons of options and rescources.
3. 80% female student body.
4. I'll gain a degree
5. I'll gain a portfolio
6. If I want to later I can transfer my credits to another school.

Cons-----
1. Associates degree as apposed to a Bachelors
2. Costly

I can't really think about that many bad things.

I'm rolling my own cigarettes. I'm about to play GTA3 and kill a bunch of cops!!!!
"Tata tata tat that's me killin' the cops"

Club Vertigo...

Remember those guys in high school that put freaks in trash cans? Welcome to vertigo. Also very frat party feeling. Oh well fuck it, I got drunk, and I had fun with the guys I went with. I looked at booty shakin' and drank 2 pitchers. The guy that let's us in is 20 yrs. old and works there. He said he makes $600 bones a week. That's pretty fat.

Other than the terrible 15 yr. old music, and the ditsy tri-delts, I thought the club had potential for a good time. I'll probably go to Goth night sometime and see what happens.

"What.. she trip, fall on his dick?"

full moon night ravings.
at about 6:30 this evening I was drunk off a couple beers and now I'm trashed on the tussin. Oh yes, Sean's sippin the sizzup.
I have to work tommorow at like 5 tommorow. I sitting in the apartment sans shirt, no shoes, bad breath, stinkin' pits and headphones halfon my head so I can listen to the Breeders. I had kindof a crazy night tomight and I don't think it's over yet. I met this girl who goes to this art school I heard about today. it's called Antonelli and I guess it's downtown somewhere.
Speaking of girls, I've been hanging out with this girl meagan. She's just a friend and she's pretty fun to be around. This guy I've been paying guitar with was trying to be her boyfriend so that's kindof wierd but they'll both get over it. I like Meagan, I like Ian. Ian and I are getting our dex on tonight and I'm fizzucked. He took off for a walk and I don't know if he's coming back or if he got arrested or what.
Well I'm going to call Al and mayhaps Linz and tell them how fucked up I am.
Taste the Rainbow

Tonight's Saga: A laughable situation

It's 1:30 in the morning and I just got off work. On my way home I was bombing ,as it is downhill most of the way home. A cop heading up the hill and hit thier lights. I skated over to where they where getting out of thier pig-wagon.

me- how's it going?
pig- can I see your I.D.
me- why?
pig- are you a car?
me- no.
pig- then what are you doing in the middle of the street.
me- I just got off work, I don't have my I.D. and I'm on my way home.
pig- well, I need to run your I.D.
me- O.K. I'll gladly give you my information.
pig- What? Your immature attitude needs to stop.
me- O.K. I'm just trying to co-operate with you. Why are you so upset, I'm just trying to get home. I just moved here 7 days ago. Is there some sort of law against riding a skateboard in the street?
pig- You need to grow up.
me- What!?
pig- are you a moving vehicle.
me- no but my board is a moving vehicle and I was riding on my board so yeah I guess so.
pig- I could charge you with civil disobediance.
me- for skateboarding home? (I chuckle at the civil disobediance charge)
pig- where are you from?
me- Madison, IN.
pig- Is it OK for you to skate down the middle of the street in Madison.
me- Yes. I talked to several cops there who would rather leave us alone skating a hill than waste thier time with us.
pig- Well I don't know how it works where you're from but here you can't just ride down the street. What do you think a judge would say if you showed up in his courtroom tommorow morning a with civil disobediance charge?
me- He'd probably laugh and tell me to get out of his courtroom.
pig- I seriously doubt that'd he'd laugh.
me- Are you going to run my I.D? I'm having a great time talking to you and all, but I'd like to get home.
pig- You really need to grow up and realize that you're not helping yourself any acting this way.
me- What, acting like an intelligent adult that knows his rights, and refuses to have them trampled on by you?
pig- No, I'm not going to run your I.D. because there's probably just some juvenile offenses.
me- Please run my I.D. I'd love to see what you think about my absolutely clean record and certainly no warrants.
pig- I didn't say you have any warrants.
me- O.K. So are we done here?
pig- You need to stay out of the streets, or I will take you in for civil disobediance.
me- OK well have fun.

So I skated away down the sidewalk and didn't look back.
Civil Disobediance is truly a laughable offense

I went to this great show tonight with Micah. The Gazelles! played in which the drummer is someone I know from Jr. High. The first band didn't start until 11 so the show went late into the night. After the gazelles! played I took Micah home and bombed Ludlow back to Northside. It was a great ride and when I got back the last band was playing. They were really good and afterwards everyone piled out of the front door to where I was sitting. I talked to Andrew and we decided to go up the street to this guy Chris's apartment. We sat around. talked, listened to NOFX and smoked cigarettes. After awhile we realized that none of us were fucked up enough so we asked Chris what if any narcotics he had in the apartment. He found some ridilin and I chopped it up. I played some guitar badly. We listened to some Lou Reed and then left. It's now 5:49 AM Sunday morning and I have to be at work at 6pm. I might get 8 hours of sleep, we'll see.
I'm excited to be finding new musicians on a daily basis. Hopefully I can start playing with some people and get together a band.
ROCK ON!!

I got a job today and worked 8 grueling hours. I went in for an interview, came out with a uniform, and 8 hours of pay coming my way.

In other news, the natti is treating me well. I found some kids to play music with and my search for musicians to form a project with are coming along well. I played an open-mic last night and I sucked. It was really hurried and structured and my performance showed it. I've been writing a lot and my stuff is getting better.
I've had a change of opinion about music. In my acoustic ramblings, the music was about goofing around and just having a good time. But now that I'm getting better, i feel I should be moving toward a more expressive form.

I hope you are all well...

Sinking in my pool of misery
breathing in the liquid
Letting everything turn to black
and never leave the bottom

stopping my breathing
my blood is seething
letting go of my life
waiting for the end

Letting out my last breath
my muscles will relax
tears float out of my eyes
more salt for my wounds

stopping my breathing
my blood is seething
letting go of my life
waiting for the end



feeling sea-sick? yeah me too.

I will be updating once again after I redesign the site.
Later

OK so I can't get that thing to go away so everyone ignore it. I'm moving some of my stuff down to Johnathan's today and then we're going to a protest. I'm surprised at the amount of people that came out last week. They've decided to assemble in front of the court house every wed. until the war ends. I think it's really cool that some of the local kids want to be heard. I'll tell you about it later.

Johnathan really needs to kick his housemate out. I think it would be good for me to get out of my parent's house. (hmmm I think we all knew that one!) It would be so awesome to live downtown again.
I've been working like crazy, it's been great. It just kindof sucks to look outside when it's so nice and have to go to work. Oh well, gotta do it.
I don't know why I failed to mention this before but my phone got disconnected so if you've been trying to call me that's why it's saying whatever it's saying to you. Sorry everyone (dave)

Last night after work I went to Mike's and we had a great jam session. I think we played this one blues song for like 20 minutes straight. It was awesome. I think I found a drummer. wed. night JoeyG's SOmetime Saludu

Let's see Saturday night we went to the skatepark and I ended up leaving with middle finger being twice it's normal size. It still hurts a bit but at least I can still play guitar. I was really worried I wouldn't be able to for awhile. Knowing that I had to work today I took it easy yesterday and just walked around in the sun. It felt soooo good. Warm, Sunny, Happy.
Today at work was fun actually. We had a consistant flow of people most of the day and it passed without boredom. I'm learning quickly and my boss is actually a pretty cool lady.

I think my friend Joel could talk about sex all day if someone would let him. Freak!

I went to the ville last night and skated a bunch. I hurt my back somehow and it still hurts quite a bit.

Last Sunday while we were at the park I met this girl with an awesome Zepplin tattoo on her stomach. We started talking and she's pretty cool. I feel like i'm in this intellectual void here in Hanover so I reach out for interesting people whenever possible. Anyway, we talked on the phone a couple days ago and then last night Johnny and I went down to skate and she came down to hang out with us. We went back to her place and talked for awhile, met a couple of her friends, played guitar and then we left.

OK so to anyone who doesn't know I Like Drugs. D.A.R.E. only worked to make me realize that drunk driving is really stupid, drugs will do interesting things to your body and mind, and cops are stupid. I like drugs when I'm hanging out with people and I can talk to them about ANYTHING. Unfortuanatly for me Hanover is not the place to have fun doing drugs. Even if there were good drugs here I don't know how willing I would be to participate just becuase I don't think the people would be very much fun. I talked to the ville chick about drugs and she likes 'em too. Sweet. Someone I can get wasted with.
SO hopefully sometime I'll make my way down to Louisville and I'll have the chance to get wasted and have a good time.


Speaking of getting wasted and Having a good time I got to talk to Cera and Lolli last night. Cera sounded distant but Lolli assured me that it was just Cera being Cera which I completely understand. Getting her to talk about her feelings is like trying to get me to stop skatin'. I just hope that she's trying to improve her situation and she's not just wasting time.

I'm taking little steps right now and I'm trying to do things the 'right' way. Now that I have a job I guess the next step is keeping my job and here in a couple weeks I'll get to take a trip up to Lafayette to see Cera and hang out for a couple of days.
I'll be posting more often. I've decided to make coming to the library a daily activity. Not only does it provide me with internet access, but it's a reason to get out of bed and take a walk. Good Stuff!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I just wrote such a good post and blogger sent it off into cyberspace at light speed without telling it where to go.

SUmmary:
I've been in a really depressed shitty mood for the past week with a constant headache.
Babies are loud, stink, ugly, and are unable to carry on a conversation (like most of the residents of Hanover hmm amazing)
I start work on Monday.
Things are looking up, it's a wonderful sunny day, i have a job, and I'm going to get pissdrunk tonight.

Al, e-mail me.
THat goes for the lot of ya, you scurvy dogs.

I am a slacker slutbag... i never post.... no-one reads my page anymore... maybe someone will see my site two weeks from now.
THE NEXT PERSON TO READ MY PAGE, SIGN MY GEUSTBOOK AND TELL ME WHAT A SLUTTY SLUT I AM!

sorry about that I'm sure it was wierd for you too.
Suck on this:


That's Madison's Most Infamous Band... or not whatever
SKRUM

OK so I'm aparently not as wasted as I was for my last entry but whatever.
I've got my boones and my girl so i'm pretty good. I don't know man. I've got about 60,000,000,000 things going on right now and it's just really straining on my mind.
whatever....
Later

"Crazy Party"

so drugs, rum, dance music + me and cera = fun

I'm pretty wasted already actually and it's onle 12:34.
work sucks and so do capitalist coporation type suits,
but we must work to survive so that's what I do.

I had my meeting with a counselor at the school of liberal arts at purdue today. She had a lot of good things to say and pretty much told me to mellow out and get in (to purdue). She said that the more narrow I looked at my education the more experiences I would be missing out on. She also said that I should definately try to get in and work on the liberal arts degree classes and worry about exactly what progam I need to be in later.


This by the way is what Al's been telling me all along.

The company I work for is pretty shady. I found out today that my company is falsifiying log hours so that they can make more money. This leaves 30 employees today doing nothing at all. Nothing. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I know that it has very little effect on me (unless they decide that I'm expendable, or one of their clients finds out what's going on) but i just feel like I shouldn't be involved. And I don't know what to do....

So today at work (I was sitting there avoiding work) and the training lady brought this guy over and said hey sean show this guy what's going on. I was like okay and when he sat down i told him that i hated my job and i avoid it whenever i can. Anyway we started talking and it turns out this guy ran the Strand Theatre in Ocean Beach for 6 years! Now this is amazing to me because not only do I know where the strand is, i've walked by there several times, and my brother lives not very far from there. It's just wierd I think how small the world is sometimes.

Cello sounds wonderful with acoustic guitar.

hey everyone I've been working a lot lately (ya! sortof) and i've been lazy other than going to work but I think that I'm getting used to it again so expect more random thoughts, links, and pictures to come.

Also if you're one of my friends who happen to live in the indiana area Cera and I are throwing a New Years Rockin' Eve party so check back to get directions and to see the official flyer/invite.
Later

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- A member of the Federal Communications Commission Thursday called for a re-examination of the agency's definition of indecency.

"Michael J. Copps made the recommendation the morning after he said his office was flooded with e-mails from viewers complaining about a fashion show featuring the products of Victoria's Secret, a lingerie company, that aired Wednesday night on CBS.

One FCC source said the agency's e-mail system was overloaded, and crashed.

"It's time for the commission to change its definition of indecency," Copps said in a statement. "Too many indecency complaints from consumers and too many truly indecent broadcasts are falling through the cracks."

Of the nearly 500 indecency complaints received by the agency's enforcement bureau over the past year, "only a tiny number have resulted in any action," he said.

Copps made his concerns known to reporters at a breakfast the morning after CBS aired the hour-long "2002 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show."

None of the models appeared nude, despite a show organizer's telecast admonition to the models not to "feel that you're walking out naked." Some shots featured thong-clad women, some adorned with wings. Those scenes were interspersed with descriptions of how the wings were constructed and tongue-in-cheek testimonials about how lingerie has changed some people's lives.

You can't tell me this is what the pioneers of the great broadcast industry had in mind when they brought radio and TV to us.
-- FCC Commissioner Michael J. Copps

Based on the commercials in the hour-long commercial -- including spots for Bud Light and Dodge pickup trucks -- the intended audience was likely largely male.

Representatives of Victoria's Secret and CBS did not immediately return phone calls.

Copps' critique of television went more than skin deep as he took aim at violence in programs.

"It's time for us to step up to the plate and tackle the wanton violence our kids are served up every day," he said in his statement. "Compelling arguments have been made that excessive violence is every bit as indecent, profane and obscene as anything else that's broadcast."

"It's shameful," the statement said. "You can't tell me this is what the pioneers of the great broadcast industry had in mind when they brought radio and TV to us. I surely hope my colleagues will join me in addressing this problem."

Indecency over the air has increased as media outlets have continued to consolidate, Copps said.

"Has consolidation led to an increase in the amount of indecent programming?" he asked." -Story from CNN on Thursday, November 21, 2002

------------------------------------------------------------------------



Dear Sir,
I am disgusted by the increasing amount of fascism and censorship that is infecting our United States government. As consumers, the people of this country have choices. It's a great freedom to be able to watch, listen, download, etc. the content that we see fit for our consumption.
We also have the freedom to avoid content that an individual might deem offensive or inappropriate.
Since we live in a capitalism loving country, I would think that the more advertisement and commercialism there is, the more money there would be flowing through our economy.

Beautiful women walking down a runway in their underclothing may seem inappropriate to some. To others (lingerie designers, photographers, artists, etc.) this event is seen as artistic expression in it's most provocative form. If PBS were to present a lingerie fashion show it would be seen as artistic or even social, why is it so 'indecent, profane and obscene' if it is aired on CBS?

You posed the question in the above interview "Has consolidation led to an increase in the amount of indecent programming." The answer is NO. The increase in the amount of 'indecent' programming is because it gets ratings. Television stations are worried about the same thing that every other kind of company is worried about: Money. The way television stations make money (I don't mean to insult you, I'm sure you know this) is through ad sponsors. Advertisers look at ratings to figure out what programming they want to put their money into. Whatever gets the ratings, get the ads (money).
I am quite sure that CBS made a ridiculous amount of money for airing the Victoria Secret fashion show. Otherwise they would not have aired it. The reason that CBS made so much money is due to the great ratings I'm sure it received. Would people be watching this type of programming if they didn't want to?

You also brought up in your statement, "It's time for us to step up to the plate and tackle the wanton violence our kids are served up every day," This is not a censorship or an indecency issue. This is very much a social issue and unless the FCC has control over the parents of America then the FCC should stray from trying to teach Americans to be responsible parents.

When Hitler came to power he destroyed art and literature; and he took away free speech. The FCC also has the power to do those things. Do not let our WWII veterans think that what they fought so bravely against in Germany is being allowed here in America.

Please enforce laws, and when a crime is committed that is within the jurisdiction of the FCC, please punish those people involved, but do not take away freedom.

Thank You for you time,
U.S. Citizen
Sean Lory

(Listening to 'do you think i'm a whore -kittie')
I can't get over how badass CJam is. If you follow the Close your Eyes and hit listen live you too can be amazed about good radio. OK... most of you are probably thinking yeah so what most college radio stations are really good. And maybe you have a valid point but the variety of this station blows me away. Just look at the program listing. Anyway if you get the chance you should really give them a listen and if you like what you hear drop them a line while your online listening to their station online. Ahh technology is cool.

A wise fellow I know by the name of Al spoke of interconnectedness today on his site.


Everytime I see that I feel at one with the universe too.

Man, I feel so stupid lately. People acutally used to compliment me on what a nice vocabulary I have and now I just seem to stumble through conversations. It sucks. It bothers me most when I'm talking to my brother because I don't want him to think I'm this stupid stoner kid who doesn't know how to carry a decent conversation.

Maybe it's Hanover, maybe it's the fact that I've had very few people that make me exercise my words, but really I'm to blame for not using words to my advantage. If people don't know what I'm talking about then that's their fault and I shouldn't lower myself for them. Communication is a very powerful tool and when used well can show what a person really knows and what is just B.S. I think.

Cera taped David Bowie last night on Last Call with Carson Daly. From what I've seen of this show Carson is not the stupid pop-icon that I formerly viewed him as. I think as an interviewer he does a good job and he has had some interesting guests (Robert Bradley's Blackwater Surprise, Beastie Boys, The Violent Femmes, and many more.
You can suggest a guest or make fun of Carson by e-mailing=lastcall@nbc.com.


In other News: Cera and I are together again and I have an interview on thursday. It's at a telemarketing place so at least I'll be able to sit around all day! Physical Labor sucks. More later...

If you don't know who this is first you should learn to read and then if you still don't know you should punch yourself in the face.

THursday and Friday night I went to Louisville skatepark and had such an awesome time. On Thursday night I got this crazy drug-like euphoria from skating. I was just fucked up on skateboarding. I wonder if people that do other things like software programming, hockey, race-car driving, surfing, or anything else that people do for fun get totally wasted on what they're doing. I have heard many people speak of surfing this way but more in a spiritual way. Maybe that's what I'm feeling but I'm just expressing it in words differently.

Basically: I had a blast. Both nights I got to skate with Johnathan and some of my other friends too. My good friend Mike come down both night with us a filmed. Does anyone have any idea how I could convert a super 8 film onto a digital medium? Al that question is mostly directed at you but if anyone else knows it would be great.

Since last friday Cera has been M.I.A. She went back home to look for work and just generally get a time to regroup and get away from the chaos of Hanover. It's been rough without her here with me but I can take comfort in knowing that it's much better for her to be up there.

I've been sending out applications over the past few days and when I get to Lafeyette I'm going to go to the Purdue admissions office and talk to someone about getting in. I'm starting to get excited about the prospect of going to school. I very willing to accept that I will have to go through some b.s. to get a degree. But my life will drastically improve when I can go to employers and show them that I've been trained. I really want to be able to work for a magazine but without a degree I doubt that anyone would even give me any thought.

Being more focused on happiness lately has really made an improvement in my day-to-day life. The biggest thing I've been working on is reducing my anger before it starts. I'll really be so much better off when I can completely destroy anger within me.

I'm very tired of my laziness and my floating around life. I'm really going to work on accomplishing my goals over the next 2 years. Looking back on the past 2 1/2 years of my life; yes, I have learned alot but I'm just back here where I started. I will not let anything stand in my way of getting a degree and working for a magazine. That's what I want to do so badly. I think that I've wanted that for quite awhile but wouldn't accept that I was going to have to really work for it. THings are different now.


I am ready.

I voted for scrooge mcduck today for county treasurer.
It saddens me that more people don't take advantage of the one day that our voices can be heard.
I Don't like anything that my local politicians stand for so the way I voice that opinion is to write-in people. I would rather have dead people like Thomas Paine represent me and that's why I voted for him as well.

Vote and Vote often.

Today I salute Johnathan for making me realize that everything is skateable and anything can be fun if you want it to be. Even a simple kicker with a cone.

Friday night Cera and I made our way to Muncie.

Our our arrival we found out that we didn't know where anyone was because they got kicked out of 525. That place was my first home post-high school and so it has a definate place in my heart. Driving around I got lucky and saw a friend of mines's car. We talked for a minute and we found out where the Lou Reeds live.
When we got there people were just waking up (it was 4PM) in tipical Muncie fashion so everyone was groggy. We got beer and people started to show up. The show that night was at this new place in town called the Speakeasy. It's actually a really hip joint and I like it but when we got there we found out that we had to stay upstairs. THe bar and stage are downstairs so for the whole show all we could see were the tops of people heads and the bands from the waist down. We went back to the house arfter the show, got drunk, talked to a whole bunch of people and passed out.
When we got up we were super hungry so we went to King Guyro's and I got the guyro special while Cera stuck with a fat veggie sub. We hung out and slept at the house all day until we got up to go to this rave party that a bloomington friend of ours Featha was going to spin at. My goal for the night: Make out with as many people as possible. My unfortunate total: 2. I know, how lame is that but actually I got really drunk and had an awesome time. Featha ended up not spinning due to the shrooms I think but I think she had a good time too.
Today our plan is to go to indy and see Rick and D D Dave.

I started on "The Art of Happiness" a few days ago and I am very interested in some of the things Mr. Lama (haha) has to say. I've actually been surprised by many of the 'thought patterns to achieve happiness' that I already use. I have more specific thoughts on the book but I have them written done in a notebook that is not currently at my disposal.
I've been applying like mad to different places around town and calling people as well. The manager at McDonald's is on vacation so I have not been able to talk to him. Hopefully I'll get a job before he gets back so I won't have to work there.

"We are all human beings."

So basically I have hit bottom. As Al said some people's bottoms are lower than others but I'm pretty sure that mine is lower than most.
I shaved today.
I applied to McDonald's today.
I'd rather be in bed today.

I talked to Al tonight. It sucked because the reception on my phone sucks a whole lot here.
I put my hair up in tails all over my head. Robo. Stuff.
I learned that Long Beach is close to L.A. tonight.

Just gimme a beer!!

I don't know why but a nice cold mug of beer sounds like the best thing in the world to me right now.

Work...
Sleep...
drugs...
sleep...
Work...

I was working on my book this morning (I should say afternoon since I went to sleep at 6 this morning and got up at 2) and I was trying to figure out why anyone would want to read my book. I wonder if Bukowski felt the same way while he was working on his first book. I think if he can get a book published about wandering around trying to find a kick or a girl then I can too.
I went for a skate this morning before I went to sleep and it felt great. I've been working on my kick-flips a lot and it's paying off. My flips are more consitant I just need to start landing them.

Well, here in the midwest the seasons are already starting to change... Bluck!!! Man I was hoping to be ready to leave by now but things got off to a rough start after I quit Kingfish. Things are looking up again though and hopefully I'll be getting a job in Seymour that pays a lot more and I can get more hours working.

I was playing Chess today with Harry (my step-mom's father) and he destroyed me. Chess is very much like life: look around before moving, you must always be as ready as possible, defense and offense go hand in hand. Sometimes you just don't know what move life will take next, but hopefully you'll see it coming and take appropriate action.

For awhile I was struggling with the way the world was headed but now I'm just not worried anymore. What will happen will happen regardless of what I do or say. Now I'm not saying that I won't give in to the corporation or to religion, or any other corrupted institution out there. I'm just saying that I'm going to do the best for myself that I can do without fucking anyone over in the process.

Lindsay, I miss you too. I'll be in California as fast as my working class hands can allow.

The open mic went great.
I started off with a Nirvana cover (actually it's the Vasaleans sp?) Jesus don't want me for a sunbeam. After I played it I said "if you don't know who that was you suck." and out of like 70 people 4 of them yelled out Nirvana. It's a sad sad world when everyone's forgotten grunge. I decide that I'm not punk rock at all last night, I'm just a hard-core grunge skater kid. Not to put a title to who I am; just a representation of some of the things that partly influence who I am.
After that I played an original that most people seemed to have liked.
"the next songs theme is Capitalism will get you killed" Now to say that in front of a mostly upper-class conservative crowd I'm surprised I wasn't pulled of stage and beaten by a few football guys. But the only thing I could hear was a little feedback so I slammed into my last song "the exploitation song"
Walking off-stage I could hear the MC trying to figure out what to say. I Loved It!! I'm sure I blew some people away and I did it with a musical instrument; what a rush. I packed up my guitar and headed into the crowd to find Cera and some friends of mine. I actually got some mean looks from some of the jock looking guys. That just made me feel even better about my performance.

Tommorow night I'm going down to Louisville to skate the park. It's going to be great. I have yet to skate there with my good friend Johnathan so I'm stoked. He's really good so I can't wait to see what he can do there. And I've gotten a lot better so I want to show him a few things too.

Capitalism will get you killed...

I'm playing an open mic night on Sat. and I've been going through my songs trying to find two good ones that I should play. I've been skating more lately now that I have a board again. I badly want to go to Louisville again.

THings here suck and they will never get better. Over my lifetime hanover has become so filled with Jerry Springer guests it's ridiculous everyone I talk to has a kid, or a sister who's knocked up by their cousin, people in jail, I hate it with all of my being. There is so much bullshit in this town that people just let happen and almost seem to be OK with it. I was talking to this guy I went to school with (I don't think he graduated) and he asked me how I was doing and I told him that every day in hanover is the worst day of my life, and to that he got offended and told me how much he loved it here. I think my heart stopped momentarilly and when I realized that it was his loss it started back up again.
THat's a pretty good explanation of how life is for me right now. I found out about this job in seymour where I can work 3 days a week and make $400 every week. Unfortuanatly it's at the Wal-Mart distro and you know how much I hate Wal-Mart.

Hey Everyone!
I've been living in the technological void known as Hanover, IN. Unfortuanatly for you guys this means I can't update my page as much as I would like to. There are things going on right now that suck a lot. Actually more suck than fun but I'm trying. I have a cell-phone now (call me a capitalist if you like but I felt that it was a necessity) so if anyone would like to call me the best time is after 9 Central Standard time.

So... it's sunday... it's my last day in OB.... I'm stoned and I'm a little drunk!!!

See you tommorow Cera. ;-)

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Unfortuanatly for me I broke the 3 rules of drinking last night.
1. Don't eat a bunch of food if you plan on getting drunk.
2. Don't drink a crap-load of something that you've never had before.
3. Don't smoke after getting drunk.

So while I was throwing up on the balcony Al took some pictures of me and then showed them to all the party guests. Then everyone left. Great... not only did I get sick but i disgusted everyone to the point of leaving. Today is a new a wonderful day. We're going down to the OB streetfair. It will be mucho fun.

I MISS YOU CERA! You should e-mail me.

So today we finally got to go surf again. When we got back I went out to take pictures and Al worked on a project.

Right now there are a bunch of people here. "The Brazilions"?? are here and I feel kind-of out of place but no worries I'm having a good time. I just plan on getting really trashed.

Later Loyal Readers!!!