i cut off my hair. thanks to jessica for this picture.

Pu'u'ala Farm

Honokaa, HI

love

i wish i had a bed
i could share with you
warm bodies pressed together
fighting the cold
squinty eyes toward
incoming sun
i long for
your tenderness
lonesomeness prevades
my dark corner
i walk alone

so i fixed the slow load time by removing the comments bar as Al so wisely suggested.
I'm moving to Hawaii in Feb. I'm going to work on an organic farm and enjoy the sun and ocean. I'm very excited. I'm having difficulty deciding what to take with me. I don't think that i need to take my typewriter but i want to. I'm questioning taking my guitar because of the bus travel but i really really want to. obviously i'm taking my tent, my sleeping bag, clothes, 3 books, 3 notebooks, my backpack and duffel bag.
I'm going to have a huge party on the 15th of Jan. as a birthday/going away. I hope you will come (if i invite you) and we will have a great time.

I've been inbetween worlds lately thinking about the move. I've really come to love cincinnati as strange as that may be. I have quite an amazing crew of kids that I enjoy being around so much. I think of all the great times i've had here and there are not that many places that i have many fond memories of. I will miss everyone.
but they don't live in hawaii.

sean skates in a dress

sean skates in a dress
Originally uploaded by matter anti-matter.

check out the other flickr pics i put up

this is my new hero michael sessions.

recovery is difficult at best. Saturday night was incredible. costume party, noise, kegs, potka, fire spewing out of a glass satan head, hilariousness, ridiculousness.
i don't even remember most of the people because I was running around so much. I skated in a red dress. I fell down a few times. I danced. I was pissed at dave for 20 minutes. I stuck my face in Gina's cleavage. I set up my slide-projector. I wandered around aimlessly. Then all the beer ran out...
people were sad...
two girls found me, took me home, and did things I'd only seen in movies.
all was well.


HAPPY FREAKIN HALLOWEEN BITCHES!!!
I'll post pictures soon. stay tuned...

THis is post #500, crazy huge milestone! I don't even know what to say. If there was an award for this type of thing and I had to write a speach, I would procrastinate and then just make it up as I went along. I guess I would have to thank my bro Al for helping to create this external form of my mental digestion. I want to thank people on the bus for always being entertaining in one way or another. The future is uncertain as it always is until it happens. Here's to 500 more (Sean toasts the imaginary crowd before him)
TOmmorow I will be waking up to 40 degree weather to go downtown and drink profusely all day long. The Bengals play the Steelers which is apparently a really important game. I don't know... I'm just down for group interactions filled with beer. I have a couple options downtown and maybe I'll see someone I know. Hopefully I won't get too hammered or spend to much money and go to Art Damage. It's this venue that hosts hard-core, noise, indie, and dj music that you just can't see anywhere else in town. I've heard the shows are great but we'll see.
enjoy!

Hello loyal DarkWax reader, you might notice that I've added the past year of interesting posts on your right hand side of the page (that's my left) please enjoy the bits and bytes of my world.
I'm reading a very interesting book right about the future singularity that will occur when the evolution of humans and human technologies merge. It's actually blowing my mind how we are experiencing exponential technological progression.
I'm at work right now closing up and my nightly routine of taking off my clothes and drinking until I pass the fuck out will commence shortly.
Good night and may your evening be beer filled and slothful.

not pornographic:
Robert Shafer

Pin-ups

Post-Coital Halluncination

I lost track of how many times I came
by
looking for you
transmission complete
I saw myself
myself and myself
one white cube
white desk
and a microphone
I tried to speak
but distraction
causes dis-action
and I didn't say it
I stared into my
own eyes
and saw that
I could see
seeing
one less being
or something else
silence sounded
hollow
nothing could follow
but noise
and out of my trance
I fell
awake
motion became
the metaphysical metaphor
gave it what-for
and questioned
spinal fluid
I believe something forgotten
just remembered inside
itself and released
me

face

spider

water

carpet

It is
later
than
you...
think or wish
it is
want it to be
while you look
at my back
am I walking
away and you
want me
to come home
with you
did you imagine
me lying naked
on your bed
waiting for you
well I'm not
and the bar is
closing
are you still thinking
of something to say
some witty one-liner
there's no time finer
then right now
but you didn't and

It is
later
than
you...
percieve in your
chemical situation
the oil's running
our of the global equation
it is late
and you were
praying for salvation
while bombs fall
I saw it all
a few times
and now
time is running short
you should follow
my lead
and walk away
if you can't see
what's burning your eyes
then I have
nothing left to say
except
it's over
and
it is
later
than
you...



so I saw this girl at the airport who had the lines "It is later than you" running down the left side of her back down to the top of her tube-top as a tattoo. I was quite intriqued but didn't have the balls to ask her what the rest of it said. I pondered what it might have said but figured I had a good idea what she meant. So I wrote this from her perspective since it is her tattoo. hope you liked it...

I've been watching the sun's slow path through downtown on 6th street. I can almost tell what time it is by the shadow's fall of the great american building. I see buisness suits and white tees pass by with regularity while I read or write and sometimes sing out loud. No one seems to mind. I nod and smile to the passengers of this sidewalk, some even greet me in return. Comrades of this urban landscape call this sin city but it's here that I've forgiven my fears and transgretions. This girl walks by with cliche flowers that she wishes were for her. They will most likely end up forgotten and dying on some lonely wifes kitchen table while she waits for her husband to finally come home. I think about these people and their dreams. I question if they are fulfilled by their existence, if they desire change the way I do. At times I feel like such an elitist challenging people to wake up. I do know that they all dream and bleed and curse just like I do. Now this bus crosses the river on one of it's many trips. Once a barrier, a billion times a carrier of goods now left scarrier due to destruction. I imagine the complexities involved with my transportation and feel the sudden elevation change in my ears. The sun hits my face through open emergency exit hatch and I feel it's the only energy I want to catch. I see myself fishing. Drinking rainwater and spending all day without shoes. I'm looking forward and away from this cityscape and I almost feel the palms brushing my face. "Why the hell wouldn't you go," says my dad and although I see him rarley I would miss him more. He knows that my bags are always packed and my story will always be his to hear. I find inspiration in everything. These days my mind churns and it will all be recorded for future playback in one way or another.
For quite some time I was feeling lost, but now I'm done burning maps. I'm looking for real sustainability and it seems that I've been given the perfect opportunity. One cycle does not mean another or a consecutive rebirth. So I inspire myself to action...

This is the creepiest thing ever. What does it mean? THis is at a church between cincy and dayton on I-75. So weird.

Jan took this picture of me at work... very bored.

God is choice. We are born with infinite possibility until we have nothing left to decide. It startles me that we cannot perceive what we truly are. We are masters of our universe yet we treat our world like a slave. We are brothers and sisters bonded by the blood of destiny.
When the first voice came from a human mouth it said "I" and with that single syllable we evolved. We chose to no longer be mearely animals but to break free with our minds. We will poke and prod and search our grey matter for the answer to self. The question of what we are is what we are. Explorers and adventurers we will always search within and without. The universe is spiralling around us and through us.
3 is not divisible into a whole number. It is whole, it is complete, it is perfect. You and I together are neither 2 nor 1, we are 3. me, you, us =3. Nothing can exist without interaction.
I hear symphonies spewing from thoughtful speach. I see everycolor footsteps fading in your wake. I feel every soul as my own. We are human. We are dirt. We are sky. All is water. This star gas falls so glorious and silent yet screams with life. We are noble only in composition. True love is self-actualization. When one recognizes solitude and reality then anything is possible. What you know is what you are. All will change with time. Now is just the faded memory of tommorow. Prophets are good at narrowing down options. Only a handful of dreams become truth. Why spread your thoughts to the sky when you need them right here. Use it. Feel it. It is yours and you cannot give it away. The joy of pain is control. It only hurts if you want it.