I almost spilled my guts last night to a girl. She was too drunk to take it well. I kissed her. I hugged her and then I let her go. SHe's the girlfriend that never was and may never be. She was someone else's. SHe was her own. She burns like fireflies on a warm summer night. SHe'll always be my girl... in my head.

so work has become no longer fun or funny and is in fact starting to get hellish. I should quit. I should get money. I should drink more. I should sleep. Graham and I are working on some music and if we can figure out how to compress these huge files we'll be sharing them soon.

Christmas was good. It was closure in so many ways. New doors in other ways. I finally feel at peace with my hometown. It's good to have it off my back.

write on the typewriter
click clack
napsack
and a fifth of whiskey
it's all travelling on
guide me
lead me
to the edge
we can never really
go home again
we find
sight seeing
is all the rage
but the cage
says
stay

I found the one
that got away
sitting in some dim-lit
east-coast cafe
i don't remember
what i wanted
i forgot what
i had to say

O my dear i loved you
before you left this town
it's been a year since i've seen you
but i still wish you were around

i know you've
got a story
about the good
times you've seen
i hope when you
sing this chorus
you'll feel what
it means to be free

I just met one of the shoe designers for Duffs. Duffs makes very high-quality skate shoes. I talked to him for a minute while I smoked a cigarette and he informed me that Vans (the shoes I wear) is being bought out by Vanity Fair. What a damned shame. I would say that the price will go up and the quality will go down. He said that they're going to shift from the skate oriented promotions to more lifestyles shit. another one bites the dust.
Hopefully Johnny Rad and his friends can get the capital together to start a deck pressing company. I'm excited for him.
I'm going to get drunk and watch American Psycho tonight. Nick has never seen it and I think he's really going to like it. Nothing like chainsaws and Whitney Houston.

In other news:

tookie

Why?

Donkey lips + 'salute your shorts' + Myspace = hilarious!

long bets

I bet that by the year 2057 there will be a global revolution against the corporate ruling class power. Borders will disappear and we will be free to travel to any country in the world without a passport. Also 30% of the worlds population will be 'plugged in' to what was once called the world-wide web (it will have a different name by then like 'foglet user-based reality' the f.u.r.)

i cut off my hair. thanks to jessica for this picture.

Pu'u'ala Farm

Honokaa, HI

love

i wish i had a bed
i could share with you
warm bodies pressed together
fighting the cold
squinty eyes toward
incoming sun
i long for
your tenderness
lonesomeness prevades
my dark corner
i walk alone

so i fixed the slow load time by removing the comments bar as Al so wisely suggested.
I'm moving to Hawaii in Feb. I'm going to work on an organic farm and enjoy the sun and ocean. I'm very excited. I'm having difficulty deciding what to take with me. I don't think that i need to take my typewriter but i want to. I'm questioning taking my guitar because of the bus travel but i really really want to. obviously i'm taking my tent, my sleeping bag, clothes, 3 books, 3 notebooks, my backpack and duffel bag.
I'm going to have a huge party on the 15th of Jan. as a birthday/going away. I hope you will come (if i invite you) and we will have a great time.

I've been inbetween worlds lately thinking about the move. I've really come to love cincinnati as strange as that may be. I have quite an amazing crew of kids that I enjoy being around so much. I think of all the great times i've had here and there are not that many places that i have many fond memories of. I will miss everyone.
but they don't live in hawaii.

sean skates in a dress

sean skates in a dress
Originally uploaded by matter anti-matter.

check out the other flickr pics i put up

this is my new hero michael sessions.

recovery is difficult at best. Saturday night was incredible. costume party, noise, kegs, potka, fire spewing out of a glass satan head, hilariousness, ridiculousness.
i don't even remember most of the people because I was running around so much. I skated in a red dress. I fell down a few times. I danced. I was pissed at dave for 20 minutes. I stuck my face in Gina's cleavage. I set up my slide-projector. I wandered around aimlessly. Then all the beer ran out...
people were sad...
two girls found me, took me home, and did things I'd only seen in movies.
all was well.


HAPPY FREAKIN HALLOWEEN BITCHES!!!
I'll post pictures soon. stay tuned...

THis is post #500, crazy huge milestone! I don't even know what to say. If there was an award for this type of thing and I had to write a speach, I would procrastinate and then just make it up as I went along. I guess I would have to thank my bro Al for helping to create this external form of my mental digestion. I want to thank people on the bus for always being entertaining in one way or another. The future is uncertain as it always is until it happens. Here's to 500 more (Sean toasts the imaginary crowd before him)
TOmmorow I will be waking up to 40 degree weather to go downtown and drink profusely all day long. The Bengals play the Steelers which is apparently a really important game. I don't know... I'm just down for group interactions filled with beer. I have a couple options downtown and maybe I'll see someone I know. Hopefully I won't get too hammered or spend to much money and go to Art Damage. It's this venue that hosts hard-core, noise, indie, and dj music that you just can't see anywhere else in town. I've heard the shows are great but we'll see.
enjoy!

Hello loyal DarkWax reader, you might notice that I've added the past year of interesting posts on your right hand side of the page (that's my left) please enjoy the bits and bytes of my world.
I'm reading a very interesting book right about the future singularity that will occur when the evolution of humans and human technologies merge. It's actually blowing my mind how we are experiencing exponential technological progression.
I'm at work right now closing up and my nightly routine of taking off my clothes and drinking until I pass the fuck out will commence shortly.
Good night and may your evening be beer filled and slothful.

not pornographic:
Robert Shafer

Pin-ups

Post-Coital Halluncination

I lost track of how many times I came
by
looking for you
transmission complete
I saw myself
myself and myself
one white cube
white desk
and a microphone
I tried to speak
but distraction
causes dis-action
and I didn't say it
I stared into my
own eyes
and saw that
I could see
seeing
one less being
or something else
silence sounded
hollow
nothing could follow
but noise
and out of my trance
I fell
awake
motion became
the metaphysical metaphor
gave it what-for
and questioned
spinal fluid
I believe something forgotten
just remembered inside
itself and released
me

face

spider

water