Please hold the line...

Your call will be answered in the order it was recieved.

Thank You.

There was an earthquake this evening. A 5.2 I felt it but thought it was the wind because there is a Hurricane offshore that's bearing down on us. Pretty much everything is closed tommorow already. I live in an inland part of the island so I'm protected by a mountain range, hopefully everything will be fine.

Pretty crazy though, an earthquake and a hurricane in the same week. And I really need to work to save up for my trip.

Goodnight.

Yesterday, I climbed the mighty z-trail in search of:
Waimanu's Treasure Of Lost Hope or
Waimanu's Lost Treasure of Hope.......


If you're Chris, Amanda or Holland you'll know the story. I don't want to tell it but anyway. Yesterday I braved the trail again, alone, and barefoot. Going up was quick. I kindof zoned out and just let my breath move me. I got up and it was hard going through the brush but I got out to our camping spot nestled up next to a paper tree and not more than 20 ft. from a 2,000 ft. cliff down to the ocean. The night we stayed the trees were making such creepy noises.

So i found the spot and started digging around. I was suprised at how hard the dirt was and some new roots had grown. I worked at it for awhile to no luck. I remember that I didn't bury it very deep so it shouldn't be very hard to uncover. I move to the other side of a sapling that we had tied our makeshift a-frame to. After the first layer of leaves and rubbish I saw ash from the fire we made to cook my pathetic rice nonsense that tasted terrible but put something in the gut.

After the ash I found roots and between them I finally felt what I had placed in that spot a year before.

I didn't remember until now but the one thing that I didn't find inside the bamboo 'case' was the note that we had left inside. It had recycled itself or been eaten before I dug it up. I thought it was a really funny note. I guess I should have put it in a zip lock bag.

So I sat there with the 'booty' for a moment looking out at the blue on blue line i could just see through the trees. I dumped the 'emergen-c' packet in what was left of my water and started back down. The first part down to the tree line was fine. Then I got to the sun soaked lava path that immediately started burning my exposed feet. Not to mention the tiny sharp rocks attaching themselves to my soles.

About half way down I slowed down to a crawl, literally scooting myself down on my ass. Also staring to burn my hands the rocks would not let me be.

Eventually after almost crying with the heat I got back down to another tree line and instead of walking down the trail I slid straight down about 50ft. of the hillside, catching trees to slow myself down. The beach was wider that usual on this day so I had to run across about 40 yards of hot black sand. Once I hit the water it was like I had chopped off my feet and attached new cooler ones.

So I got back across the river (swimming backstroke with my backpack in one handing holding it above my head) and couldn't find the keys to Haole. Looked and looked and pulled shit out of the car and then I found them in my backpack.

Quite an adventure indeed.

Big Love to Amanda, can't wait to see you in Indy!!

It's hard to disappoint when expectations are low.

My work schedule is all silly this week. I told my boss that we would not be working on the farm since we're house sitting for Holland's boss. So I'm working days this week. Crazy.

There is a good thing about living in Waimea, the skatepark. I've been able to get in an hour every few days between raindrops. It's been great being close and just going over when I know it's not raining.

I went to Waipio over the weekend with some new woofers from the kava farm. I stopped by on my way down to pick up Ruffio and I met Zoe and Micheal. They were quite unique as most people are and I enjoyed having conversation with new people. I miss meeting people so much. It's a part of my life that i gain great satisfaction from. I love stories. And we all have one. I was hoping to hike the z-trail, to find the treasure that Amanda, Chris, Holland, and I buried last year. Maybe this coming weekend.


Lisa B. left the island yesterday. She's on her way to New Hampshire to see friends and family and then she'll be travelling to Portland and wherever else she decides to go.

So then there were 3. Jeff is still living shirtless and clean in Puna. It's hard to get ahold of him on the phone or in person so he might as well be on a different island. Maybe I'll get to see him before I take off in Sept.

I'm getting really excited about the trip. Go see dad and the mad. Check out the natti and probably see maddie. But she might be on the road with Foo and Kyle.

I ordered a 300 gig external hard-drive. Should get it tommorow and I can transfer everything that's cramping my drive now to a more spacial location. I was really surprised how fast I roasted through 25 gig.

I sent Amanda's backpack out to her so she should be getting it in the next few weeks. I'm like 5 months late on that project. Sorry.

I'm going to try to build links again. I just got tired of looking at my other layout. Blogger Updates to commence.

Otherwise, we got our tickets to Indiana yesterday. The way I see this going done right now is this: Indy on Oct. 1 chill with Amanda, do something hilarious. Hanover on Oct. 3 somehow. Chill with Jonathan, Joel, cruise around show Holland what the 812 is all about and that will take about 4 days. Oct. 7th cincy bro down with Jill and Shane and Leslie, Dave, and whoever else is still in Clifton.
Oct. 14thish get on a train headed west...
San Diego?
Spokane?
Seattle?
wherever.

Hopefully end up in Lake Tahoe in a house with graham and other wacky people I've never met before. Yes!

I'm putting music up on myspace so look forward to that.

shoots.

Wow, Waimea fucking sucks!!!!

So Holland and I 'took the day off' and went to Kona. That meant that when I got up late (8:30) Lark was taking her sweet ass time harvesting the greens we were to take to the restaurant in Kona. So Basically we left about half an hour before we would normally get done anyway.
We got to Kona and dropped of the shitties and saw Josh so we sat down and talked with him for awhile. Ate some food and then went to the beach. The surf was coming in so I body-surfed while holland sunned herself. After the beach we went to the bar and had drinks which was fine until Holland started to act weird.
I'm not really sure what she's feeling right now but I've got to get off this rock. I have to move along little doggie. I need society. I'm tired of getting off work and the best thing I have to do is watch tv with a half a beer.

I don't know what she wants. I don't know that it matters that much at this point because I'm leaving anyway. If she wants to come on this crazy adventure with me then I'm stoked to have such a wonderful person with me. I Love Her! I just don't get enough emotion from her. I don't know what she's feeling, I don't know what she wants, I don't know if she's ready to live out of a box.

If anyone has any suggestions (other than ask her, smart ass) feel free to leave a comment.


peace out sucka'

It's the new STYLE

see what happens next...

been awhile homies!!

Al found and sent me my new Mac, ibook G4 SWEET!

I wrote some stuff to talk about but I don't know where. I just wanted to let you all know that I'll be online more often now and hopefully recording some awesome music.
I'm listening to Iron and Wine right now and waiting for a phone call.
It's LisaB's birthday so we're trying to track down some party favors before we take off. There's a tropical storm overhead right now so it's pretty windy but that's not going to stop the party.

I got a gmail account if anyone cares...

lovelikeglass@gmail.com

werd!

Well starry eyed internet wanderers, I'll be without access to the interwebs for awhile and I'm not sure when or where you'll hear from me again. The kava farm is shutting down internet tommorowish.
Reasonable options for my future and ones that i'll reject:

Waipio Valley.... is amazing and beautiful and sustainable and most of the things that I thought I really wanted. My friend who offered me land would also like to offer me a place in heaven, if I go to church and be a good christian. Not really my idea of a good time. He's a great guy and has a great vision for what he wants the valley to be and I wish him the best. I'm beginning to desire that curse word 'property' or at least somewhere to call home.

Kava Farm.... is getting shut down whether my boss likes it or not. We live on his father's 'property' and we're not making him any money so he's going to find someone that will. I'll miss my farmily and all the good times we've had, but they've not been that much fun lately. I've been working in Waimea which is 30 miles away 4 nights a week and working the farm during the day 4 days. For me that's a shit-ton of hours for not getting paid for half of it. I've been feeling the need to move on for quite some time now, just not sure what the best way to do it is.

Fuji Farm.... is owned by the owners of the bbq I work at. I don't really know much about this couple but they seem nice and have very firm plans they would like to set into action. The farm is small but they have a wonderful house they've offered me a room in, on 6ish acres of land. Many types of lettuce, tomato, herbs, flowers, veggies, some goats, ducks, and chicks. They are about to expand past their labor and would love Holland and I to work for them. They're even going to pay us!!! The details are still being hashed out but I think when I get back from vacation on the 1st of June we'll be moving in.

Speaking of vacation, where do people in Hawaii go for vacation? Somewhere landlocked, or to some other beach. Holland and I will be hitting up both on our short trip. First we fly to Nashville, TN where I'll be best man at my best friends wedding. I'm so excited for Micah and his soon-to-be bride Ingrid. They'll wed in a small art gallery in downtown Nash and then directly across the street to tie one on.
I'm stoked to hang out with Micah and see how he's doing.
Then we're off to VA beach to meet up with Holland's parents for a few days, then her hometown and maybe somewhere else before we fly back.

Otherwise, things are good. I feel good. I'm in Love. I eat well. Plenty of sun. Water occasionally. Liquid is all I see anyway, just blurring recognition of something concrete.

I Love all of you and Hopefully I'll be posting again soon.
ALOHA!!!!!!

once again I've logged in to talk about how i'm not writing. it sucks to be so without words or even that much to express. My fickle fascination with change is drawing me again to that ever elusive 'elsewhere.' I have "how Odd?" written on the back of my left hand and I don't know why. That is odd.

My relationship with Holland is fantastic. I guess I've been reluctant to talk about her that much because there's not much to talk about yet. Sharing myself with her has felt like bragging at times or just self-promotion at best. It's hard to be complete without reflections, and my friends reflect on me very well. it's complimentary companionship that I'm talking about I guess. We become more important and more full as a social individual when we attach ourselves to sympathetic systems.
To be out here was a step towards isolation and peace. Those two are often found together working very well to retain their status. The isolation showed itself to me through the vast amounts of water surrounding this island and the mutual peace accompanying it felt like a fuzzy sweater in a warm clothes dryer.

Funny that I would find such a wonderful companion when I was trying to release myself from commitment. Am I afraid of boredom or the restrictions of 'settling down' what the fuck is that about. I don't want my relationship to preinclude the idea that we would become ineffectual and homely in our older age. I want to stir things up. I want to paint my future memory with all the laughter and colors and travel I can muster. I want to be extraordinary.

Some have said that I could have a future in writing. I don't know how or why someone would want to publish my thoughts and charge people for the pleasure but I will continue writing so I guess some people are right. Maybe a screenplay. Maybe a short story that gets turned into a screenplay. Maybe I'll jump on a fucking sailboat.

I don't know what the hell's going to happen. I rarely do, even though I often think about it. I don't know what I want. I guess I have what I want, because all I've ever really wanted was to feel better about myself and be happy. You can always have more of that in life.

People are thirsty for change. The wind carries a new tune for those with ears to listen.
I don't want to see the revolution through internet articles, I want to be there.

My dad wrote me a letter and asked if I had made a new years resolution. I made one 6 years ago to never make one again. I've held true sofar.

this evening we had a great farmily dinner with our new comrades Sophia? and Joanna. Foo is back on the farm and a new day is about to greet us all. I'm excited about the work ahead of us and the fun we'll all be having together. Of course I'm missing my family and my friends that are my family.

I cut all of my hair off and shaved for the first time in months. It was cleansing. I have been stressed for the past few weeks about a few things but yesterday as I was in bed all day, i realized that i just needed to relax and let the chips fall as they may. What do I have to lose? Nothing.

I've been thinking about my brother Josh a lot lately. He's become so disconnected in the last few years and I'd really like to see him become happy. My dad and Jeanette and Josh are planning on coming out in July and I'm so excited.

I'm trying to get a job so that I can get a surfboard. I fucking can't wait. I can't believe I've been here almost a year and have yet to step foot on a surfboard. Terrible.
Amanda was looking at boards the other day and she's in Indiana. It was really awesome talking to her the other day. I think we both helped eachother feel a little better. Love.

Aloha

Hardcore song #317

This is what you paid for
this is all your greed
can't you see i'm trying
not to be so clean

I am not your soil
I am not your property
you can't buy or sell
this commodity

You can't buy this t-shirt
i'd give it to you free
recognise the family
we make the new history

I don't need any money
to plant my humble roots
Mahalo Ka Aina
means many thanks to the land

Aloha friends! I am currently living on the Kava farm and enjoying the hard work. Since the large earthquake last month the irrigation ditch has been broken with no hope of water for at least a year. My plans to move into Waipio valley are still on but i'll be taking small steps clearing land and preparing for my first crops. I'm learning quite a bit about local produce and making some local friends as well.
Holland and I are very happy to be back together and making plans for our future. Sustainability is crucial and many many people here on the island are moving together in that direction. So many people share my belief that everything we need is growing all around us.

Much Love...
and many thanks.

THis will be my last post for awhile. I miss all of you all the time. Everyone think about my amazing friend Dave and help us get him back...


Thanks. Katherine.

Aloha

madtucky is draining my soul. I've got a fucked shoe and I'm going to retire my board here at the skateshop. nothings going on.
go see grandma today. I'm leaving here tommorow. Be in the natti for 3 days.


arggg...

Sometimes I feel like i'm being stretched forward in time to some sort of event horizon that seems untouchable. Like i'm there already but i have to wait for my body to catch up. In the quantum world, i am at the event and here now and dead and alive and non-existant until i am recognized in time-space by an outside observer.


These letters do not exist until you look at them.


I am reading "Schrodinger's Kittens and the Search for Reality: Solving the Quantum Mysteries" by John Gribbin and I am enjoying it quite a bit. It is taking what I learned from "A Brief History of Time" Hawking and breaking it down further into the physicists and thier theories and what they showed us about the universe. Light is so damn fascinating.

I talked to Holland yesterday for quite some time. She always has some adventure or situation to tell me about. I on the other hand am troubled by being in Madison and want to leave immediatly. I guess I have to go see my grandma today before she gets too upset with me. I have yet to stop by or call her. I had dinner with my mom last night and a short conversation about how being here makes me angry and brings back all the old self-doubt I carried for so long. I reacted to the negativity and intolerance of this place by getting the fuck out and that's what i always want, to be away from here.
For my entire existence in Madison it seemed like someone was always ready and willing to tell me that I was wrong. That I couldn't do it. That I was a 'fag.' Well FUCK YOU and your redneck backwards ass town. I'll leave you to create your own misery and you can wallow in it. You seem surprised that your life is meaningless. You destroy yourself with a smile everytime you exude hate. You and your crack-whores can laugh at me until your teeth fall out of your head. You will know pain when your children hate you for who you are. You will suffer when they leave with ideas you mistreated them for. You will die a thousand deaths when no one is there to watch you. That time after gym class when you spit on me and threw me in the trash, i did not cry, i did not fight, i walked away. You did that terrible thing and it will come back to you. I will not manifest the hate that you poured on my head in the form of white milk. I will not raze the foundations of your cause because you are the fire that will bring it down. you are the hate that will destroy.

Nov. 1st 6:46 AM

I called the farm twice tonight. The first time Holland was drinking margaritas and then much later she had gone camping somewhere. I was standing outside of a gay bar trying to get my bros out of the place. It started out late, we got to the bar at like 1AM, but KO assured me that there would be 'hot chicks'. As I wandered around the place I saw lots of gay men, lesbians, trannies, straight girls who only hang out with gay men, cross-dressers, and then us 4 straight dudes. One of our party dances with this girl in tight leather corset of sorts and I swear that it's a dude until she talks to her 'girlfriend' about the straight dude trying to dance with her. They laugh. I consider crying right there. The drag show was interesting but only mildly entertaining. After that the crowd thinned out yet we still hung out for another hour. Many rounds of me asking if we could leave later, we finally get out. The crew votes to go to the 'porn shop''peep show' and I vote to sit in the car. I listen to the rain and tried to image Holland's voice.
Of all the fucking places in the world for some straight white dudes from indiana to go these two are the last two on the list of 'places to hook-up with chicks'. They must not want to try or something because it was dumb. I felt bad that these guys have absolutely no idea how to pick up women. They're screwed from the start going to these spots. I was upset and just sat in the car for a long time imagining getting off the plane and landing in Holland's breast.

The plan started for a glorious adventure to the city. We had been couped up in houses and factories too long to hold what we had boiling within us. Thirsty for a drink or a firm handshake and a smile. Finding friends in much comfort we rejoice. What's the plan, what's going on? "A party man, a major mansion party." So we flew. Entering quietly we slolwy merge with the booze soaked crowd. I saw a familiar face and a few faces that shouldn't have been familiar but felt like it anyway. I explore forth through the halls and through half open doors with light beyond. I hop into a closet where I find cave dwellers in the midst of smoking. "You're a tall drink..." and she replies, "You like it." Joining the ritual I gain much comfort. Then we spill out back through the feux bloody scene crisp with rock&roll blues guitar riffs pulsing through the house. Outside was fireside and many interesting words were heard by my ears. I'm wrangled into a conversation about digital encounters and what they mean. I trail off into my own thoughts. I smile to myself feeling sunshine when I speak her name. Waiting for my first warm day. My first warm kiss and Loving arms wrapped tight. But I mingle mangle my words. Witness and attest to ridiculousness. Far flung feeling felt out funky style free form fatty fillers time killers karate kick the kapital kat attack get back Kaledescope. I pound the piano guts and make riddums. All sounds one voice. Crazy face displaced from my home where the sky meets the sea.

I wake up and my first thought is "I'm in fucking Hawaii!" Coffee and a cigarette as people slowly wake up and wander into the werehouse. My lungs feel dramatically better and I take deep breaths of clean morning air. Finding my place on the farm came easily but I still felt reserved. These people have no idea who I am or what it took for me to get to the farm. I work hard and they seem to enjoy my prescence. I try to start a conversation with elise about her life on the mainland but she brushes it off. I want to talk to them all about how ridiculously connected we are. Looking around I search the ceiling and walls trying to find a well-defined corner for my cube philosophy but can't find one so I grab a ball jar. Half water, Half olive oil and I set it on the table. Dean walks by and it catches his eye.
"What's that?"
"Oil and water."
"What's it for?" Dea chimes in.
I feel like I've sparked some interest now so I gather more people shaking the jar and holding it out for contemplation. Just when I feel like I have everyone's attention I say, "What seperates the oil and water?"
Someone says, "Air?"
"We'd be able to see the air."
"What is it then?"
"Nothingness, there's space between the molecules that seperate the oil from the water. They are not soluable into eachother. This is what I was saying the other day, all of you are part of me and I part of you. When I said that I came out here because of you I meant it. This reality does not exist without us experiencing it. We are the oil and water of the farm."
I think Elise was at least slightly interested in my philosophy so I try to pull her into a conversation over beers.
"So Elise, what brought you to the farm?"
"I found it in the woofer magazine."
"What did you expect when you got here?"
"What did YOU expect?"
"I figured I would meet some interesting people and enjoy the great weather." It had been raining all afternoon. "Do you think you'll leave the island?"
"Yeah."
"You're not much for conversation are you?"
"Maybe you're not asking the right questions." She got up and walked out into the rain as I sat there startled.

Sarah was the last person from the original crew that I actually tried to talk to. She was beuatiful and quiet, which intimidated me. What does that pretty head hold inside. While Tai was busy drooling over her, I imagined what she thought of him. I was quites sure that Sarah was already tired of having boys approch her because of her looks. Some beautiful girls have brains and want to be treated so. I try a different approach.
"Sarah, what do you think of String Theory?"
"I'm not very into quantum mechanics but the theory is interesting. Your oil and water thing is cool, what made you come up with that?" Yes, I thought to myself, finally some juicy conversation.
"Think of two people making love... they are as close together as physically possible yet are still seperate."
"What's the importance of that, it sounds pretty unromantic."
"It is sortof, I mean, one person can only know so much about another. I can't read your mind or see myself from your perspective, we will always be seperate. That's great for the individual but it makes union brief and superficial. We can be as similar and together as the jar but will always be seperate like the oil and water."
"Why these thoughts, what lead you to this?"
"I've always wanted to know what people really think of me. I want to look at myslef through someone else's eyes. I've always thought that my personality and reality are the culmination of the people and experiences that I've shared myself with. By learning about you I can know myself better. We are refractions of eachother."
"I guess it's more romantic than I thought."

I'm sitting in graham's apartment and it's 4:20 AM... no smoke. I'm listening to Mirah and I'm excited to listen to this album while I go to sleep. I skated down here from Fairview so it's downhill the whole way. A cop stopped me and told me that one of his cop buddies would give me a ticket for being out skating so he followed me for awhile and then went on his way. I saw probably 8 cars and 4 of them were cops. I'm not sure how I feel about that anymore.

"make it hot, take me over and over and over..."

I wanted to come here so I could sleep in my sleeping bag. Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night and I smell incense I think I'm in Hawaii and if I turn over I can put my arms around Holland. I remember one night we went camping on this 'beach' which was once a railroad depot. It was a strange spot but we kissed and played together most of the night. Her hair brushing my face and a subtle moan as she pushes herself into me. I'm missing her so fucking much.

Good Night my lover 5,000 miles away.