9.21.2007
The hall was wide and so very long that you could not see the end. Behind dark doors were things lived only once or maybe seen in dreams. Whispers like fall leaves breached unseen barriers into organ pipes singing. This was a place out of time and of no origin. Only watercolor reflections escape but what is locked within is unknowable. Untouchable, existence does not compare to the memory. Taking one door, making only one choice is for the dead. Currents shift and life lingers drifting along the edge of reason. As if by magic without the magician, images fade into cirrus swirls. The sun retrieves it's light from curls of birth laughing. Ancient stars harmonized through future telescopes. Clouds are star dust in stasis, the inevitable thirsty planet breathes. Another door and more manifestation of secret desires. We are hungry and full, lazy and excited. This was once called 'now.'
9.18.2007
I had a rough day. Nothing seemed to go right. I started my day cutting bamboo for the Greenhouses. We've planted lots of tomatoes and built curved greenhouse structures over the rows. This is for heat and to prevent too much moisture. I've been putting up rigging to let the plants grow up on. It's like 95 in these houses so within minutes I'm sweating my ass off. Anyway, I'm having a really hard time getting the ribs tied up and as I'm standing there, the next house over totally blows out and the tarp comes all the way off. So I have to get out and go put it back together. There are these clips that are meant for holding the tarp to the ribs but the ones we have are the wrong size and we don't have time to go all the way to Kona to get the proper ones.
SO it's 95 inside and I'm all sweaty and I step out and it's 75 and raining.
Then I step on a rock and it hurts way more than it should. I lift up my foot and I've got planters wart and it hurts soo bad. it was just a crappy day.
Work was really slow. Looked at the calender and realize that I'm only working one more week. Crazy.
Three men and a Baby is on tv right now. Holland says she loves it. I don't remember.
SO it's 95 inside and I'm all sweaty and I step out and it's 75 and raining.
Then I step on a rock and it hurts way more than it should. I lift up my foot and I've got planters wart and it hurts soo bad. it was just a crappy day.
Work was really slow. Looked at the calender and realize that I'm only working one more week. Crazy.
Three men and a Baby is on tv right now. Holland says she loves it. I don't remember.
9.15.2007
15 days to departure.
fucking crazy.
I don't even know what to say. I'm excited. I look forward to seeing people in the middle-east. hope that our travels are safe and we'll be able to not spend much money.
Had a dream I was in San Diego last night. Weird. Everytime I dream of S.D. I'm always getting lost looking for Ocean Beach. Which is strange because I know exactly how to get there.
fucking crazy.
I don't even know what to say. I'm excited. I look forward to seeing people in the middle-east. hope that our travels are safe and we'll be able to not spend much money.
Had a dream I was in San Diego last night. Weird. Everytime I dream of S.D. I'm always getting lost looking for Ocean Beach. Which is strange because I know exactly how to get there.
9.11.2007
Hello internetlandville,
I've been watching 9-11 video, conspiracies, some guy who invented perpetual motion motor; and thinks he's jesus, some stuff about particles, a japanese tv station footage during the fires at the wtc of a ufo, cops and firefighters saying there was a bomb, all this crazy shit that I would like to talk about... but I have a better idea.
something funny
I fucking hate Bush.
I think the U.S. Government had everything to do with the Sept. 11th 2001 'demolition' of the World Trade Center in New York.
Oh yeah, I worked for A.C.T. and had a great time failing to convince Ohio that Bush was a bad idea for working people and for Americans in general,
or did I fail?
So today, anyone reading this... I hope that you'll try to understand what your government will do to you in order to further it's goal of world domination.
We are just ants after-all right?
I've been watching 9-11 video, conspiracies, some guy who invented perpetual motion motor; and thinks he's jesus, some stuff about particles, a japanese tv station footage during the fires at the wtc of a ufo, cops and firefighters saying there was a bomb, all this crazy shit that I would like to talk about... but I have a better idea.
something funny
I fucking hate Bush.
I think the U.S. Government had everything to do with the Sept. 11th 2001 'demolition' of the World Trade Center in New York.
Oh yeah, I worked for A.C.T. and had a great time failing to convince Ohio that Bush was a bad idea for working people and for Americans in general,
or did I fail?
So today, anyone reading this... I hope that you'll try to understand what your government will do to you in order to further it's goal of world domination.
We are just ants after-all right?
9.10.2007
Last night after work Holland and I drove down into Waipio and slept out under the stars. It's hard to beat sleeping to the sound of the ocean. We woke up in time to watch the sunrise and move to a more low key spot. You're not supposed to camp there but if you're cool no-one bothers you. We woke up again around 8 and there were about 30 surfers out getting the morning breaks. A small rain came in for about 10 minutes and the most amazing rainbow appeared in the valley. It was a great morning.
I've yet to pack or really plan anything for the trip except for having Amanda pick us up in Indy. I was planning to pack this evening, but slept instead.
I've been painting more and enjoying it. I also have a few more songs I posted to myspace.
I hope you are all well, and maybe we'll see eachother on the mainland!
I've yet to pack or really plan anything for the trip except for having Amanda pick us up in Indy. I was planning to pack this evening, but slept instead.
I've been painting more and enjoying it. I also have a few more songs I posted to myspace.
I hope you are all well, and maybe we'll see eachother on the mainland!
9.02.2007
SO I've been thinking about my experience at the kava farm.
I feel like I really was in this weird headspace. Z had a lot to do with my experiences and emotional depth, but fuck it got draining. The manipulation that man is capable of is ridiculous. That I was fooled by it for so long is astonishing.
I was googling the farm to see what would show up, nothing really that interesting other that elise's video.
the video
I thought I was going to have something substantial to say to but I'm tired.
Maybe tommorow.
I feel like I really was in this weird headspace. Z had a lot to do with my experiences and emotional depth, but fuck it got draining. The manipulation that man is capable of is ridiculous. That I was fooled by it for so long is astonishing.
I was googling the farm to see what would show up, nothing really that interesting other that elise's video.
the video
I thought I was going to have something substantial to say to but I'm tired.
Maybe tommorow.
8.30.2007
8.14.2007
There was an earthquake this evening. A 5.2 I felt it but thought it was the wind because there is a Hurricane offshore that's bearing down on us. Pretty much everything is closed tommorow already. I live in an inland part of the island so I'm protected by a mountain range, hopefully everything will be fine.
Pretty crazy though, an earthquake and a hurricane in the same week. And I really need to work to save up for my trip.
Goodnight.
Pretty crazy though, an earthquake and a hurricane in the same week. And I really need to work to save up for my trip.
Goodnight.
8.10.2007
Yesterday, I climbed the mighty z-trail in search of:
Waimanu's Treasure Of Lost Hope or
Waimanu's Lost Treasure of Hope.......
If you're Chris, Amanda or Holland you'll know the story. I don't want to tell it but anyway. Yesterday I braved the trail again, alone, and barefoot. Going up was quick. I kindof zoned out and just let my breath move me. I got up and it was hard going through the brush but I got out to our camping spot nestled up next to a paper tree and not more than 20 ft. from a 2,000 ft. cliff down to the ocean. The night we stayed the trees were making such creepy noises.
So i found the spot and started digging around. I was suprised at how hard the dirt was and some new roots had grown. I worked at it for awhile to no luck. I remember that I didn't bury it very deep so it shouldn't be very hard to uncover. I move to the other side of a sapling that we had tied our makeshift a-frame to. After the first layer of leaves and rubbish I saw ash from the fire we made to cook my pathetic rice nonsense that tasted terrible but put something in the gut.
After the ash I found roots and between them I finally felt what I had placed in that spot a year before.
I didn't remember until now but the one thing that I didn't find inside the bamboo 'case' was the note that we had left inside. It had recycled itself or been eaten before I dug it up. I thought it was a really funny note. I guess I should have put it in a zip lock bag.
So I sat there with the 'booty' for a moment looking out at the blue on blue line i could just see through the trees. I dumped the 'emergen-c' packet in what was left of my water and started back down. The first part down to the tree line was fine. Then I got to the sun soaked lava path that immediately started burning my exposed feet. Not to mention the tiny sharp rocks attaching themselves to my soles.
About half way down I slowed down to a crawl, literally scooting myself down on my ass. Also staring to burn my hands the rocks would not let me be.
Eventually after almost crying with the heat I got back down to another tree line and instead of walking down the trail I slid straight down about 50ft. of the hillside, catching trees to slow myself down. The beach was wider that usual on this day so I had to run across about 40 yards of hot black sand. Once I hit the water it was like I had chopped off my feet and attached new cooler ones.
So I got back across the river (swimming backstroke with my backpack in one handing holding it above my head) and couldn't find the keys to Haole. Looked and looked and pulled shit out of the car and then I found them in my backpack.
Quite an adventure indeed.
Big Love to Amanda, can't wait to see you in Indy!!
Waimanu's Treasure Of Lost Hope or
Waimanu's Lost Treasure of Hope.......
If you're Chris, Amanda or Holland you'll know the story. I don't want to tell it but anyway. Yesterday I braved the trail again, alone, and barefoot. Going up was quick. I kindof zoned out and just let my breath move me. I got up and it was hard going through the brush but I got out to our camping spot nestled up next to a paper tree and not more than 20 ft. from a 2,000 ft. cliff down to the ocean. The night we stayed the trees were making such creepy noises.
So i found the spot and started digging around. I was suprised at how hard the dirt was and some new roots had grown. I worked at it for awhile to no luck. I remember that I didn't bury it very deep so it shouldn't be very hard to uncover. I move to the other side of a sapling that we had tied our makeshift a-frame to. After the first layer of leaves and rubbish I saw ash from the fire we made to cook my pathetic rice nonsense that tasted terrible but put something in the gut.
After the ash I found roots and between them I finally felt what I had placed in that spot a year before.
I didn't remember until now but the one thing that I didn't find inside the bamboo 'case' was the note that we had left inside. It had recycled itself or been eaten before I dug it up. I thought it was a really funny note. I guess I should have put it in a zip lock bag.
So I sat there with the 'booty' for a moment looking out at the blue on blue line i could just see through the trees. I dumped the 'emergen-c' packet in what was left of my water and started back down. The first part down to the tree line was fine. Then I got to the sun soaked lava path that immediately started burning my exposed feet. Not to mention the tiny sharp rocks attaching themselves to my soles.
About half way down I slowed down to a crawl, literally scooting myself down on my ass. Also staring to burn my hands the rocks would not let me be.
Eventually after almost crying with the heat I got back down to another tree line and instead of walking down the trail I slid straight down about 50ft. of the hillside, catching trees to slow myself down. The beach was wider that usual on this day so I had to run across about 40 yards of hot black sand. Once I hit the water it was like I had chopped off my feet and attached new cooler ones.
So I got back across the river (swimming backstroke with my backpack in one handing holding it above my head) and couldn't find the keys to Haole. Looked and looked and pulled shit out of the car and then I found them in my backpack.
Quite an adventure indeed.
Big Love to Amanda, can't wait to see you in Indy!!
8.08.2007
It's hard to disappoint when expectations are low.
My work schedule is all silly this week. I told my boss that we would not be working on the farm since we're house sitting for Holland's boss. So I'm working days this week. Crazy.
There is a good thing about living in Waimea, the skatepark. I've been able to get in an hour every few days between raindrops. It's been great being close and just going over when I know it's not raining.
I went to Waipio over the weekend with some new woofers from the kava farm. I stopped by on my way down to pick up Ruffio and I met Zoe and Micheal. They were quite unique as most people are and I enjoyed having conversation with new people. I miss meeting people so much. It's a part of my life that i gain great satisfaction from. I love stories. And we all have one. I was hoping to hike the z-trail, to find the treasure that Amanda, Chris, Holland, and I buried last year. Maybe this coming weekend.
Lisa B. left the island yesterday. She's on her way to New Hampshire to see friends and family and then she'll be travelling to Portland and wherever else she decides to go.
So then there were 3. Jeff is still living shirtless and clean in Puna. It's hard to get ahold of him on the phone or in person so he might as well be on a different island. Maybe I'll get to see him before I take off in Sept.
I'm getting really excited about the trip. Go see dad and the mad. Check out the natti and probably see maddie. But she might be on the road with Foo and Kyle.
I ordered a 300 gig external hard-drive. Should get it tommorow and I can transfer everything that's cramping my drive now to a more spacial location. I was really surprised how fast I roasted through 25 gig.
I sent Amanda's backpack out to her so she should be getting it in the next few weeks. I'm like 5 months late on that project. Sorry.
My work schedule is all silly this week. I told my boss that we would not be working on the farm since we're house sitting for Holland's boss. So I'm working days this week. Crazy.
There is a good thing about living in Waimea, the skatepark. I've been able to get in an hour every few days between raindrops. It's been great being close and just going over when I know it's not raining.
I went to Waipio over the weekend with some new woofers from the kava farm. I stopped by on my way down to pick up Ruffio and I met Zoe and Micheal. They were quite unique as most people are and I enjoyed having conversation with new people. I miss meeting people so much. It's a part of my life that i gain great satisfaction from. I love stories. And we all have one. I was hoping to hike the z-trail, to find the treasure that Amanda, Chris, Holland, and I buried last year. Maybe this coming weekend.
Lisa B. left the island yesterday. She's on her way to New Hampshire to see friends and family and then she'll be travelling to Portland and wherever else she decides to go.
So then there were 3. Jeff is still living shirtless and clean in Puna. It's hard to get ahold of him on the phone or in person so he might as well be on a different island. Maybe I'll get to see him before I take off in Sept.
I'm getting really excited about the trip. Go see dad and the mad. Check out the natti and probably see maddie. But she might be on the road with Foo and Kyle.
I ordered a 300 gig external hard-drive. Should get it tommorow and I can transfer everything that's cramping my drive now to a more spacial location. I was really surprised how fast I roasted through 25 gig.
I sent Amanda's backpack out to her so she should be getting it in the next few weeks. I'm like 5 months late on that project. Sorry.
8.01.2007
I'm going to try to build links again. I just got tired of looking at my other layout. Blogger Updates to commence.
Otherwise, we got our tickets to Indiana yesterday. The way I see this going done right now is this: Indy on Oct. 1 chill with Amanda, do something hilarious. Hanover on Oct. 3 somehow. Chill with Jonathan, Joel, cruise around show Holland what the 812 is all about and that will take about 4 days. Oct. 7th cincy bro down with Jill and Shane and Leslie, Dave, and whoever else is still in Clifton.
Oct. 14thish get on a train headed west...
San Diego?
Spokane?
Seattle?
wherever.
Hopefully end up in Lake Tahoe in a house with graham and other wacky people I've never met before. Yes!
I'm putting music up on myspace so look forward to that.
shoots.
Otherwise, we got our tickets to Indiana yesterday. The way I see this going done right now is this: Indy on Oct. 1 chill with Amanda, do something hilarious. Hanover on Oct. 3 somehow. Chill with Jonathan, Joel, cruise around show Holland what the 812 is all about and that will take about 4 days. Oct. 7th cincy bro down with Jill and Shane and Leslie, Dave, and whoever else is still in Clifton.
Oct. 14thish get on a train headed west...
San Diego?
Spokane?
Seattle?
wherever.
Hopefully end up in Lake Tahoe in a house with graham and other wacky people I've never met before. Yes!
I'm putting music up on myspace so look forward to that.
shoots.
7.25.2007
Wow, Waimea fucking sucks!!!!
So Holland and I 'took the day off' and went to Kona. That meant that when I got up late (8:30) Lark was taking her sweet ass time harvesting the greens we were to take to the restaurant in Kona. So Basically we left about half an hour before we would normally get done anyway.
We got to Kona and dropped of the shitties and saw Josh so we sat down and talked with him for awhile. Ate some food and then went to the beach. The surf was coming in so I body-surfed while holland sunned herself. After the beach we went to the bar and had drinks which was fine until Holland started to act weird.
I'm not really sure what she's feeling right now but I've got to get off this rock. I have to move along little doggie. I need society. I'm tired of getting off work and the best thing I have to do is watch tv with a half a beer.
I don't know what she wants. I don't know that it matters that much at this point because I'm leaving anyway. If she wants to come on this crazy adventure with me then I'm stoked to have such a wonderful person with me. I Love Her! I just don't get enough emotion from her. I don't know what she's feeling, I don't know what she wants, I don't know if she's ready to live out of a box.
If anyone has any suggestions (other than ask her, smart ass) feel free to leave a comment.
peace out sucka'
So Holland and I 'took the day off' and went to Kona. That meant that when I got up late (8:30) Lark was taking her sweet ass time harvesting the greens we were to take to the restaurant in Kona. So Basically we left about half an hour before we would normally get done anyway.
We got to Kona and dropped of the shitties and saw Josh so we sat down and talked with him for awhile. Ate some food and then went to the beach. The surf was coming in so I body-surfed while holland sunned herself. After the beach we went to the bar and had drinks which was fine until Holland started to act weird.
I'm not really sure what she's feeling right now but I've got to get off this rock. I have to move along little doggie. I need society. I'm tired of getting off work and the best thing I have to do is watch tv with a half a beer.
I don't know what she wants. I don't know that it matters that much at this point because I'm leaving anyway. If she wants to come on this crazy adventure with me then I'm stoked to have such a wonderful person with me. I Love Her! I just don't get enough emotion from her. I don't know what she's feeling, I don't know what she wants, I don't know if she's ready to live out of a box.
If anyone has any suggestions (other than ask her, smart ass) feel free to leave a comment.
peace out sucka'
7.20.2007
been awhile homies!!
Al found and sent me my new Mac, ibook G4 SWEET!
I wrote some stuff to talk about but I don't know where. I just wanted to let you all know that I'll be online more often now and hopefully recording some awesome music.
I'm listening to Iron and Wine right now and waiting for a phone call.
It's LisaB's birthday so we're trying to track down some party favors before we take off. There's a tropical storm overhead right now so it's pretty windy but that's not going to stop the party.
I got a gmail account if anyone cares...
lovelikeglass@gmail.com
werd!
Al found and sent me my new Mac, ibook G4 SWEET!
I wrote some stuff to talk about but I don't know where. I just wanted to let you all know that I'll be online more often now and hopefully recording some awesome music.
I'm listening to Iron and Wine right now and waiting for a phone call.
It's LisaB's birthday so we're trying to track down some party favors before we take off. There's a tropical storm overhead right now so it's pretty windy but that's not going to stop the party.
I got a gmail account if anyone cares...
lovelikeglass@gmail.com
werd!
5.02.2007
Well starry eyed internet wanderers, I'll be without access to the interwebs for awhile and I'm not sure when or where you'll hear from me again. The kava farm is shutting down internet tommorowish.
Reasonable options for my future and ones that i'll reject:
Waipio Valley.... is amazing and beautiful and sustainable and most of the things that I thought I really wanted. My friend who offered me land would also like to offer me a place in heaven, if I go to church and be a good christian. Not really my idea of a good time. He's a great guy and has a great vision for what he wants the valley to be and I wish him the best. I'm beginning to desire that curse word 'property' or at least somewhere to call home.
Kava Farm.... is getting shut down whether my boss likes it or not. We live on his father's 'property' and we're not making him any money so he's going to find someone that will. I'll miss my farmily and all the good times we've had, but they've not been that much fun lately. I've been working in Waimea which is 30 miles away 4 nights a week and working the farm during the day 4 days. For me that's a shit-ton of hours for not getting paid for half of it. I've been feeling the need to move on for quite some time now, just not sure what the best way to do it is.
Fuji Farm.... is owned by the owners of the bbq I work at. I don't really know much about this couple but they seem nice and have very firm plans they would like to set into action. The farm is small but they have a wonderful house they've offered me a room in, on 6ish acres of land. Many types of lettuce, tomato, herbs, flowers, veggies, some goats, ducks, and chicks. They are about to expand past their labor and would love Holland and I to work for them. They're even going to pay us!!! The details are still being hashed out but I think when I get back from vacation on the 1st of June we'll be moving in.
Speaking of vacation, where do people in Hawaii go for vacation? Somewhere landlocked, or to some other beach. Holland and I will be hitting up both on our short trip. First we fly to Nashville, TN where I'll be best man at my best friends wedding. I'm so excited for Micah and his soon-to-be bride Ingrid. They'll wed in a small art gallery in downtown Nash and then directly across the street to tie one on.
I'm stoked to hang out with Micah and see how he's doing.
Then we're off to VA beach to meet up with Holland's parents for a few days, then her hometown and maybe somewhere else before we fly back.
Otherwise, things are good. I feel good. I'm in Love. I eat well. Plenty of sun. Water occasionally. Liquid is all I see anyway, just blurring recognition of something concrete.
I Love all of you and Hopefully I'll be posting again soon.
ALOHA!!!!!!
Reasonable options for my future and ones that i'll reject:
Waipio Valley.... is amazing and beautiful and sustainable and most of the things that I thought I really wanted. My friend who offered me land would also like to offer me a place in heaven, if I go to church and be a good christian. Not really my idea of a good time. He's a great guy and has a great vision for what he wants the valley to be and I wish him the best. I'm beginning to desire that curse word 'property' or at least somewhere to call home.
Kava Farm.... is getting shut down whether my boss likes it or not. We live on his father's 'property' and we're not making him any money so he's going to find someone that will. I'll miss my farmily and all the good times we've had, but they've not been that much fun lately. I've been working in Waimea which is 30 miles away 4 nights a week and working the farm during the day 4 days. For me that's a shit-ton of hours for not getting paid for half of it. I've been feeling the need to move on for quite some time now, just not sure what the best way to do it is.
Fuji Farm.... is owned by the owners of the bbq I work at. I don't really know much about this couple but they seem nice and have very firm plans they would like to set into action. The farm is small but they have a wonderful house they've offered me a room in, on 6ish acres of land. Many types of lettuce, tomato, herbs, flowers, veggies, some goats, ducks, and chicks. They are about to expand past their labor and would love Holland and I to work for them. They're even going to pay us!!! The details are still being hashed out but I think when I get back from vacation on the 1st of June we'll be moving in.
Speaking of vacation, where do people in Hawaii go for vacation? Somewhere landlocked, or to some other beach. Holland and I will be hitting up both on our short trip. First we fly to Nashville, TN where I'll be best man at my best friends wedding. I'm so excited for Micah and his soon-to-be bride Ingrid. They'll wed in a small art gallery in downtown Nash and then directly across the street to tie one on.
I'm stoked to hang out with Micah and see how he's doing.
Then we're off to VA beach to meet up with Holland's parents for a few days, then her hometown and maybe somewhere else before we fly back.
Otherwise, things are good. I feel good. I'm in Love. I eat well. Plenty of sun. Water occasionally. Liquid is all I see anyway, just blurring recognition of something concrete.
I Love all of you and Hopefully I'll be posting again soon.
ALOHA!!!!!!
2.09.2007
once again I've logged in to talk about how i'm not writing. it sucks to be so without words or even that much to express. My fickle fascination with change is drawing me again to that ever elusive 'elsewhere.' I have "how Odd?" written on the back of my left hand and I don't know why. That is odd.
My relationship with Holland is fantastic. I guess I've been reluctant to talk about her that much because there's not much to talk about yet. Sharing myself with her has felt like bragging at times or just self-promotion at best. It's hard to be complete without reflections, and my friends reflect on me very well. it's complimentary companionship that I'm talking about I guess. We become more important and more full as a social individual when we attach ourselves to sympathetic systems.
To be out here was a step towards isolation and peace. Those two are often found together working very well to retain their status. The isolation showed itself to me through the vast amounts of water surrounding this island and the mutual peace accompanying it felt like a fuzzy sweater in a warm clothes dryer.
Funny that I would find such a wonderful companion when I was trying to release myself from commitment. Am I afraid of boredom or the restrictions of 'settling down' what the fuck is that about. I don't want my relationship to preinclude the idea that we would become ineffectual and homely in our older age. I want to stir things up. I want to paint my future memory with all the laughter and colors and travel I can muster. I want to be extraordinary.
Some have said that I could have a future in writing. I don't know how or why someone would want to publish my thoughts and charge people for the pleasure but I will continue writing so I guess some people are right. Maybe a screenplay. Maybe a short story that gets turned into a screenplay. Maybe I'll jump on a fucking sailboat.
I don't know what the hell's going to happen. I rarely do, even though I often think about it. I don't know what I want. I guess I have what I want, because all I've ever really wanted was to feel better about myself and be happy. You can always have more of that in life.
People are thirsty for change. The wind carries a new tune for those with ears to listen.
I don't want to see the revolution through internet articles, I want to be there.
My relationship with Holland is fantastic. I guess I've been reluctant to talk about her that much because there's not much to talk about yet. Sharing myself with her has felt like bragging at times or just self-promotion at best. It's hard to be complete without reflections, and my friends reflect on me very well. it's complimentary companionship that I'm talking about I guess. We become more important and more full as a social individual when we attach ourselves to sympathetic systems.
To be out here was a step towards isolation and peace. Those two are often found together working very well to retain their status. The isolation showed itself to me through the vast amounts of water surrounding this island and the mutual peace accompanying it felt like a fuzzy sweater in a warm clothes dryer.
Funny that I would find such a wonderful companion when I was trying to release myself from commitment. Am I afraid of boredom or the restrictions of 'settling down' what the fuck is that about. I don't want my relationship to preinclude the idea that we would become ineffectual and homely in our older age. I want to stir things up. I want to paint my future memory with all the laughter and colors and travel I can muster. I want to be extraordinary.
Some have said that I could have a future in writing. I don't know how or why someone would want to publish my thoughts and charge people for the pleasure but I will continue writing so I guess some people are right. Maybe a screenplay. Maybe a short story that gets turned into a screenplay. Maybe I'll jump on a fucking sailboat.
I don't know what the hell's going to happen. I rarely do, even though I often think about it. I don't know what I want. I guess I have what I want, because all I've ever really wanted was to feel better about myself and be happy. You can always have more of that in life.
People are thirsty for change. The wind carries a new tune for those with ears to listen.
I don't want to see the revolution through internet articles, I want to be there.
1.10.2007
My dad wrote me a letter and asked if I had made a new years resolution. I made one 6 years ago to never make one again. I've held true sofar.
this evening we had a great farmily dinner with our new comrades Sophia? and Joanna. Foo is back on the farm and a new day is about to greet us all. I'm excited about the work ahead of us and the fun we'll all be having together. Of course I'm missing my family and my friends that are my family.
I cut all of my hair off and shaved for the first time in months. It was cleansing. I have been stressed for the past few weeks about a few things but yesterday as I was in bed all day, i realized that i just needed to relax and let the chips fall as they may. What do I have to lose? Nothing.
I've been thinking about my brother Josh a lot lately. He's become so disconnected in the last few years and I'd really like to see him become happy. My dad and Jeanette and Josh are planning on coming out in July and I'm so excited.
I'm trying to get a job so that I can get a surfboard. I fucking can't wait. I can't believe I've been here almost a year and have yet to step foot on a surfboard. Terrible.
Amanda was looking at boards the other day and she's in Indiana. It was really awesome talking to her the other day. I think we both helped eachother feel a little better. Love.
Aloha
this evening we had a great farmily dinner with our new comrades Sophia? and Joanna. Foo is back on the farm and a new day is about to greet us all. I'm excited about the work ahead of us and the fun we'll all be having together. Of course I'm missing my family and my friends that are my family.
I cut all of my hair off and shaved for the first time in months. It was cleansing. I have been stressed for the past few weeks about a few things but yesterday as I was in bed all day, i realized that i just needed to relax and let the chips fall as they may. What do I have to lose? Nothing.
I've been thinking about my brother Josh a lot lately. He's become so disconnected in the last few years and I'd really like to see him become happy. My dad and Jeanette and Josh are planning on coming out in July and I'm so excited.
I'm trying to get a job so that I can get a surfboard. I fucking can't wait. I can't believe I've been here almost a year and have yet to step foot on a surfboard. Terrible.
Amanda was looking at boards the other day and she's in Indiana. It was really awesome talking to her the other day. I think we both helped eachother feel a little better. Love.
Aloha
12.26.2006
Hardcore song #317
This is what you paid for
this is all your greed
can't you see i'm trying
not to be so clean
I am not your soil
I am not your property
you can't buy or sell
this commodity
You can't buy this t-shirt
i'd give it to you free
recognise the family
we make the new history
I don't need any money
to plant my humble roots
Mahalo Ka Aina
means many thanks to the land
This is what you paid for
this is all your greed
can't you see i'm trying
not to be so clean
I am not your soil
I am not your property
you can't buy or sell
this commodity
You can't buy this t-shirt
i'd give it to you free
recognise the family
we make the new history
I don't need any money
to plant my humble roots
Mahalo Ka Aina
means many thanks to the land
12.06.2006
Aloha friends! I am currently living on the Kava farm and enjoying the hard work. Since the large earthquake last month the irrigation ditch has been broken with no hope of water for at least a year. My plans to move into Waipio valley are still on but i'll be taking small steps clearing land and preparing for my first crops. I'm learning quite a bit about local produce and making some local friends as well.
Holland and I are very happy to be back together and making plans for our future. Sustainability is crucial and many many people here on the island are moving together in that direction. So many people share my belief that everything we need is growing all around us.
Much Love...
and many thanks.
Holland and I are very happy to be back together and making plans for our future. Sustainability is crucial and many many people here on the island are moving together in that direction. So many people share my belief that everything we need is growing all around us.
Much Love...
and many thanks.
