Soooo... funny story.

I was at the Melody Inn for a rock show. My ol' friend Rich had invited me to see this band 'the dwellers' I was in from the start. I got my tax refund today so it was already burning a hole in my pocket. He picked me up and we got to the bar around 9:30 the opening band was just finishing up, a garage rock band trying to keep it together. Probably something I would have played had I been on stage tonight so I dug it. While the dwellers were setting up I jumped on the pool table watching these two old men hash it out. I asked a guy standing around if they were playing pool or croquet. The old man who ended up winning was a guy named steve. I know this because when I introduced myself to him as challenger he told me his name about 5 times. I beat him soundly and as he was staggering my direction to yet again wrap his paws around my shoulders he stumbled over a bar stool. Now I'm not in the habit of telling bartenders to do their job but this guy was obviously done and I didn't want any mistaking it, so I asked the bartender not to serve the guy anymore. About 2 minutes later the bartender eyeballs me into the back room. I tell him that I wouldn't kick him out yet but that he's well loaded and should probably be trying to find his way home, hopefully not driving. I enjoy the show and a few beers. The dwellers were a rousing noisy fun time and I heard a lot of my own kindof style in their music. Good Times... so as they are breaking down my friend rick who had bought the old guy a few extra rounds was now trying to call the guy a cab home. This lead to my own conversations about how the time I woke up in a ditch taught me a good lesson and I wouldn't be so kind to this guy. Call me cold-hearted but if you're 5 drinks in and drunk already maybe enough is enough and I don't want anyone to have to 'take care of me.' So that's where I lay my boundaries. The cab driver actually comes into the bar complaining that the guy can't tell him where to take him. Terrible. Rick goes back out for awhile and apparently settles it somehow. Meanwhile I'm talking to the bartender telling him that I didn't mean to step on his toes but just wanted to let him know about the guy. The bartender actually thanks me and says that the guy is a usual bad-news kindof guy and he had had trouble with him before. The bartender says he's a jerk and usually gets other people to buy him more drinks towards the end of the night, what can he do? I agree and thank him for listening.
As we are about to leave (which I'm very ready to get out of there) I ask Rick if maybe I should drive. He had been drinking Tequila drinks all night and I had had about 4 beers. He said no worries so I believed him. This is an old friend that I've not hung out with much in the last 6 years. As we're driving we start to take a left turn up a major street (meridian) and he barely hits this car as it's making a right turn going the same direction as we are. Rick doesn't stop and the car follows us. Oh yeah, one of Ricks friends was following us in his car so we turn around to see if this guy is still following and he is. We go up about 8 blocks and then Rick takes a left and then a quick right to see who's following us. Rick gets out and it is his friend behind us. They survey the damage to the front of Ricks car, which is minimal, and get back in. As Rick is starting around this circle drive I see a white car turn it's lights on and back up. As soon as we get close the ole blue and reds come on! Great... two drunk drivers and a drunk passenger. When the good ole boys come up and start to question Rick I stay quiet and still. They ask him if he's been drinking, rick says 'a little' and then they ask if we know where we are. Rick says the approximate intersection and the cop says "This is the Governors house." They proceed to question Ricks friend in the next car for awhile and then come back to us asking a few more questions. The cop says "what about your passenger there, is he ok" I respond that I'm fine and they tell Rick that we have an hour to call people to come get the cars off the property or we will be arrested. I had already figured that we were going to jail so this whole, make sure you can leave thing really fucked with me. But they were serious. I guess that rather than take us to jail and have the governor wake up with random cars in his front yard they wanted us and the cars to leave as soon as possible. Rick calls his wife but she comes by herself only able to take Rick and his friend while I call Linz to get her to get Amanda out of bed to come drive Ricks car to his house. Personally I was prepared to go to jail but with this option to not go to jail I woke up my friends. They showed up none to happy but glad that they were not picking me up from jail, so we took ricks car to his house where they were standing trying to figure out what to do with ricks friends car which was still at the governors house. I told Rick that I was sorry but my friends had to get back to bed so they could go to work in the morning and i left with my friends. Terrible. I was pretty pissed the whole time. While I'm glad that I didn't have to go to jail, I was not happy about waking up the people that I'm staying with to come bail me out of a strange situation. Although picking me up at the governors house was pretty funny.

So yeah, interesting night.

The band was great, the way home was not. It happens. I'm just glad that I'm not in the drunktank right now. Much Love......

it's Valentines and I don't think i've ever cared less. this indy thing is really bumming me out. I'm comfortable and in a stable healthy environment (boring). Although I am very grateful for Linz letting me crash on her couch, i'm dying to have something to do. Tommorow i'm going to paint the bathroom. Last week i painted the Living room and next week I'll probably paint the upstairs hallway. On the up side I've been listening to great music on Pandora, I've watched 3 seasons of 'House' and I'm playing guitar more than I have in the last month, also i'm not smoking the reefer and only two cigarettes in the last 7 days. I'm not exactly being stimulated but then again that's why I chose to come here. If I was in cincy i'd be mugging people for beer and sneaking in the back door to get into shows. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Here I am not tempted by my usual vices and it's a nice break from the normal chaos that swirls around me like pigpens stink cloud. How many metaphors can I come up with to explain where I am?
Don't believe me... I'm in Love.
I've been high on Love and now I'm coming down. The withdraw is a BITCH! Can a person actually be addicted to love. Was Robert Palmer serious? Did he have a problem, was he making a call for help and we thought it was cute?

I've spent more time making plans than ever following through with them. Statistically I'm at about a .5% success rate. That's 5 times my BAC. There's blood in my alcohol stream! My plan to gain some kind of skill and find a job applying said skill is still on the table. How many roads...? Generally i'm right on track, specifically I'm not even in the ballpark, maybe not even in the same state.
Speaking of which, the where and the why are mattering less than the how and the what. But unless I take care of the how and the what there's no where or why for me to decide. It will be decided for me, like it is now. In order to give myself options I have to come up with some answers, and find the doors to open.

I'm not sure if any of that made sense but maybe looking back on it will prove something to me.

The last couple days I went through all my old posts and enjoyed the virtual trip down memory lane. Some stuff that I had forgotten, some stuff I wish I had forgotten and some stuff that I can't even explain. Mostly it's entertaining (to me) and some of the writing is not that bad. After losing all my notebooks in the mail snafu of '08 i've been literally repressing my own words. Didn't feel like I wanted to write or that I had anything to say. I always have something to say... whether any of it is valuable or not is up to the future me. I should really just put it all down. Editing is easier if there's something to edit. You can't delete parts of your life that you never recorded in the first place.

Don't Believe me,
I'm in Love.

Ask me if I trust a crackhead with my wallet. Is it empty? It will be soon if it isn't. The point I'm trying to make is that I'm liable to say or do anything if it will bring me closer to you. If I can do something that will allow me access to your eyes and your voice I will do it. Looking at someone who's being totally honest and present in the moment is the ultimate high. I get goosebumps thinking about it. Trust is the LoveBuzz.


If I could tell a lie
I'd steal it from you to get high.